Woman Crush Wednesday: Pure Lips

It is that time again! It is WCW!!! Today's WCW attribute is pure lips! By pure lips I mean a woman who doesn't swear! To me, even the most attractive woman is unattractive if she swears. Swearing is one of those touchy subjects too. Most Christians agree that we shouldn't do it, but few are willing to step out and say it is a sin. The Bible says to, "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." (Ephesians 4:29) To me, this says we are not to swear. Swearing is not edifying, and most would agree, is a "corrupt" form of communication. The Bible also says to, "Abstain from all appearance of evil." (1 Thessalonians 5:22) We are to avoid everything that may appear evil! God wants us to protect our ability to witness to others. If we walk around swearing we don't maintain a very good witness.

Besides the fact that I want a Biblical woman, I also want a lady. Ladies do not swear. Plain and simple. Swearing is a course, rough, disgusting habit. I don't even like to hear men cuss, much less a woman! Its kind of like what Mom used to say, "I wouldn't have in my hand what you just had in your mouth!" It is true! The words we consider "swear" words, usually have a nasty meaning. How can a man think of a woman as a beautiful gem to be cherished if she is blasting off swear words or crude jokes like a man?

There was a time in this country that men were taught not to even swear in front of a lady! Whenever a lady walked in they cleaned up their tongue out of respect for her! Guys don't even feel the need to show a lady that respect anymore partially because ladies don't speak like ladies! It is kind of hard to convince guys today to speak respectfully in front of a lady who is swearing, or making crude conversation, right along with them!

Today I salute all of the women out there who guard their lips to ensure nothing unladylike proceeds from them! Just know that if nobody else seems to appreciate your verbal discretion, I do! Pure lips, in my book, earn major brownie points!

God bless!

"Cool Story Babe. Now Go Make Me a Sandwich" Said No Man Ever!

Yep that title is intentionally challenging and apolitically correct. I have no wish to candy coat what I am saying today. The above phrase, that has become so popular, makes me sick! Makes me want to throttle somebody! I hate the above phrase with a passion! And just like the title says, no MAN would ever utter these words!

I was raised with values. I was taught that a guy should offer to carry heavy stuff, hold doors open, and, if you ever saw a woman in trouble, you better go help! People think I'm sexist because I still hold those values. I am not sexist! I just put value in a lady! I have actually been told off for offering to carry something through the store for my girlfriend (we didn't court long...)! I was told that it made her feel weak. HUH? I always thought women wanted us guys to be chivalrous! I thought they wanted us to be gentlemen! I realized then that if I wanted a wife who would allow (and enjoy) me treating her like a princess I would have to actually seek that quality out!

That is why I get so annoyed when I see somebody walking around wearing a shirt with this phrase on it in big, bold letters! They are demeaning, rude, and just nasty! Even if it is meant to be a joke I really just don't find it funny! I don't understand why it is even considered acceptable to wear? If this shirt was based on a racist joke instead of a sexist one you would think the world was ending from all the publicity it would get! It just irks me to think about how disrespectful this is. It is degrading! Guys if you wear something like this you are essentially telling the women in your life that they are not good enough to do anything but serve you. You are basically saying what they say to you is not important. Girls I can tell you right now that if you are interested in a guy who wears a shirt like this you better run! It may seem like an innocent joke but it isn't. It is indicative of a mindset. Maybe he would never say something like this too you, but if this kind of thing doesn't repulse him then his mind is desensitized to it!

Another thing that bugs me about this is that I am considered sexist for believing in chivalry but people who make, sell, or wear stuff like this are getting a free pass! There is no big uproar that this kind of message is being displayed loud and proud in public! People are not calling it a sexist act or message! You know what, actually, I changed my mind! I am sexist! If the people who put this stuff out there are not sexist and respecting women is sexist than I am a proud sexist!

What happened to our world? God intended for men to care for, respect, and protect the women in their lives! There was a time when we still held that value. I think part of the problem is our culture's trend of making women "one of the guys". As females in the workplace became more common and men were pushed to treat a lady exactly as he would a guy, men lost the view that women were special! 

I have always liked to think of a lady like a piece of fine china. If I had a priceless piece of china I would protect it! I wouldn't let anybody use it. I wouldn't even use it myself! So why are you willing to use a woman? That is what a shirt with the message above implies. That you want a woman to use. You are not interested in a loving relationship. You just want what she can give you. We have lost the idea of true love and romance because we make it about ourselves!

Ladies, you deserve to be respected! I don't care what you have done or where you have been. Respect is what you deserve! So if your guy has a shirt like this, shove it down his throat and walk away! Don't look back! There is never a reason you deserve to be thought of that way! If he tries the, "it was just a funny shirt I saw! I don't think that way" routine then keep walking! If he thinks it is funny he doesn't deserve you!

Guys if you have one of these shirts this is your chance to start fresh. Whether you bought it or it was given to you or whatever toss it! Tear it up and throw it away! If you have this attitude in your heart then drop where you are onto your knees and beg God to forgive and change you! Learn to respect the women in your life! Imagine if somebody were treating your sister/mother/girlfriend/wife like that! How would you react!? Be a man! Men don't treat women like that and they don't find it funny!

The way I see it I am doomed to be labelled a sexist no matter what. My old fashioned upbringing from a time when chivalry was still appreciated will make sure of that. Therefore, in the end, I need to make sure I am happy with myself and how I treat the ladies in my life. After all, if I convince some poor girl to spend the rest of her life with me I should probably just be grateful. Poor girl will probably have decided all the good looking men were already taken! But I can tell you for sure that she will never see me wear, or hear me say, words as insulting as, "Cool story babe. Now go make me a sandwich".

God bless!

Man Challenge Monday!

Monday is generally recognized as the week's worst day. Even Garfield the cat knows how bad it is. It is often the first day back at work after the weekend so we tend to be tired and dreading the long week ahead of us (even if it is only 5 days it feels long!). Monday doesn't have to be all bad though! It is tough to keep cheery and joyful on the first day back at work (especially if you don't like your job) but it is another day God woke us up! It is a good day to hunker down and try to bust some work out! It is also a good day to set goals for the week!

As a guy, the idea of  "man crush Monday" is not my thing. I would rather not "crush" on any man, even if it is just an admiration of a respectable trait. Therefore, I have decided I will make Mondays Man Challenge Mondays! Each Monday I will post a new challenge for the week. These challenges will be all kinds of different things! I have a few cool ideas on how to do this week by week. We may do a few weeks dissecting a Bible verse or passage; a few weeks gleaning ideas from a movie or song; and sometimes I may just pull a random observation from daily life! My hope is that this can be a fun and challenging experience for everybody.

When I post a challenge I do not want anybody to assume that I have already mastered the said challenge. On the contrary, I am sure alot of these will be challenges to myself! Everybody needs to grow. We all need to continue to learn and to be challenged. Nobody is perfect. That is why we have been given the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ! God wants us to be perfect but He knows we are weak. His Word even says, "Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." (Mathew 26:41 KJV) So to cover our weakness He gave us forgiveness in Christ!

Since this intro into Man Challenge Monday has been so long, I will keep the challenge short. In keeping with the theme thus far, the first Man Challenge Monday challenge is to rest in God's grace and remember to be thankful for it! 

When things are going well and we feel like we are doing pretty good in our Christian walk we tend to feel like we don't need grace or forgiveness. Sure we say we need forgiveness but deep down we don't necessarily feel like we need it. It is so easy to feel good about ourselves and be pleased with where we are in our walk. Truth is, though, we are not where we should be and there is always room to improve! We never walk with the same perfection and holiness of Jesus so we should always strive to be better!

On the flipside, when we are struggling with an obvious or reoccurring sin, we tend to think we are below God's grace and can't be forgiven. We get into a slump where we think God can't reach us or we need to earn forgiveness. If we would be honest with ourselves we would see that we never deserve God's grace but He always gives it. We would see that God can ALWAYS reach us and we could never earn forgiveness. We get discouraged when we realize that we can't make ourselves what we should be. We forget that only the power of God will bring us to be what He calls us to be!

That is why this weeks challenge is to remember God's grace no matter what phase you are in! If you feel strong remember that you only got there by God and His grace and His application of daily grace is what keeps you there! If you are in the valley feeling worthless and weak, remember that Jesus valued you enough to die for you and He gives you power to overcome what you cannot!

So go spend your week reveling in God's grace and sharing it with others! God bless!

I Want to Be a Superhero!

It is Saturday! The weekend is here! Normally while everybody is celebrating the start to their weekend I am lamenting the fact that I have to work through it. Not this week!!! I am going to enjoy this weekend along with the rest of you! And if YOU have to work this weekend? NANA NANA BOO BOO!!!! Now that that is out of my system I suppose I should stop with the gloating. I may revert before this blog entry is finished though......

Anyway this is actually my second time writing this blog post. The first time I wrote it I had an ADD attack and got way off course. I will try to stay on point this time around, although, I can see this post spawning its own offshoot post. So back on topic. I want to be a superhero! Really badly!

Deep down every man wants to be a hero. It is just how we are wired. Whether its stopping an armed robbery (EVERY guy has had this fantasy) or helping change a car tire, we want to swoop in and save the day! It also must be admitted that in our fantasies the person we are saving is always an extremely attractive girl. After all kicking butt and winning the girl is all part of the hero gig!

Most ladies will never understand how important our superhero fantasies are to us. Our desire to be a hero and, more importantly, HER hero, is what drives us everyday. We, of course, are driven by a desire to please God, but God has instilled these heroic dreams in us as a tool to drive us! Ladies, if you are in a relationship right now I want you to try something. Next time your significant other does something really difficult or something chivalrous, be it working a long shift or changing a flat, call him your hero. Use that exact word! I know, it seems silly but, that word that we tend to associate with spandex and radioactive insects, means more to us men than you will ever know! If a girl is willing to call a man her hero she has won his heart.

I think part of this obsession with heroics stems from our ego. Yeah guys have big egos. We have big egos that are easily damaged or threatened. That is why we are so over competitive. We want to be the best. When a woman calls us a hero it gives us that boost we need to feel good about ourselves. When we do something that makes us feel heroic we feel good about ourselves.

God wired guys with more of a protective instinct anyway. Men are the more aggressive, protective sex for a reason! We are meant to be the protectors of our households, our countries, or any person in need! We lean toward cold justice and the tendency to avenge instead of comfort is in our blood. The good thing about a woman in a man's life is she can help balance him out. Where we tend to forget the gentler side of things the ladies in our lives remind us that those things are important to. It is like the country song says, "If they wanna see my sweet side, my soft side, my best side. I just point at you."

I know I may suffer from a more acute case of hero fantasy than most guys. I am a bit of a comic book superhero movie fanatic. I suppose you will eventually figure this out so I might as well tell you: I am a nerd. I know way more about Marvel movies than I should, but I know this is a guy thing. We can't help but want to be heroes!

Not that the opportunity to stop an assault or foil a robbery comes along often. While all of us guys wait for our Captain America tail kickin' moment we will settle for changing flats and reaching the top shelf. And maybe praying the cute girl at work has car trouble.....

God bless!

When Times Get Tough

What do you do when times get tough? Murphy's law states that if something can go wrong then it will. Sometimes it seems that you are Murphy's favorite person to mess with! I know I do.

Tough times can be from alot of different circumstances. Some of the things we face that make up a tough time may seem silly to some people. Heck, there may be times they seem silly to you! Those moments just seem to add up and make you wonder, make you stumble.

Its not that I doubt God. I understand He is there and He cares but sometimes I just can't help but wonder if He hears me. Sometimes I can't help but wonder if He wants to help me. Life can feel so lonely even when you are surrounded by people. Usually because we want to be isolated or because we feel sorry for ourselves.

I just wonder what people do when they face tough times. What people do when they feel God can't hear them. When everything seems to be playing against you what can you do?

At times like these, when I have an exceptionally bad day I tend to turn off my radio as I drive and just pray. I always feel self conscious in the quiet car praying out loud but it helps. Just the act of telling God about my struggles and doubts can help. After leaving the quiet and going back to face the world I try to keep joyful. Singing hymns as I go about my day helps me keep my spirits up.

What do you do? When everybody else needs you to be strong, and you feel anything but, what do you do? When it seems you are literally under attack how do you respond? Let me know what you do below!

Woman Crush Wednesday!

I have never, that I can remember, participated in WCW. However I thought it could be a cool way to discuss attributes Christian guys find attractive in women. Obviously not all Christian guys will agree which attributes are most attractive but I am going to try and only pick those attributes that most Christian guys would agree on (I.E. even though I like blond hair I am not going to use that as my WCW).

Today's woman crush Wednesday attribute is modesty. Many of you have probably heard the term, "Modest is hottest". While some would argue that describing modesty with a word like "hot" is an oxymoron, the message is clear: modesty is attractive. I tend to agree. Now I suppose I should define what I mean by attractive. There are different forms of attraction. Probably more than I can mention in this post, however, we are focusing on 2 here: physical and spiritual.

Physical attraction is seeing somebody that is so beautiful, gorgeous, good-looking (or if you are a girl looking at a guy I suppose handsome) that you feel a strong draw to that person. This is, alot of the time, where a crush or "puppy love" will come from. We see somebody who looks so good we know we are in love! Ladies and Gentlemen this is also known as infatuation and sometimes it wanes soon after getting to know what this person is like on the inside.

Spiritual attraction is something different entirely. Spiritual attraction is when a person's morals and attitude and spiritual walk are so awesome and so in line with what you believe that you are drawn to them. This paired with emotional attraction is what builds great romances. When two people are spiritually attracted to each other and can grow closer to God together it forges a lasting relationship.

Now I am not claiming physical attraction is not important by any means. One of my favorite quotes is from Joshua Harris where he says, "Don't try to be holier than God and marry somebody you aren't attracted too" (may not be a word for word quote but that is the general idea). Physical attraction can help ignite a spark but without spiritual and emotional attraction that spark will inevitably die.

So now that that is out of the way we can get back to the subject at hand. Modesty is attractive. Some would say it is not based on their ideal of physical attraction. As a guy I disagree but I think I understand where that thought comes from. See God made men to be stimulated by sight. We see a flash of skin and we tend to forget everything else and get hopelessly distracted. If we are not careful it is very easy for our minds to wander from this point. We are attracted to the female body, and that isn't a bad thing (if we weren't there probably wouldn't be many kids in the world) but when that attraction turns to lust we have an issue. I believe people assume modesty is less attractive because they equate attraction and lust to attractiveness. When they see a woman dressed immodestly it is attractive to our minds and our lusty desires.

When people describe attraction they usually think of physical attraction and lust first. Therefore immodesty is more attractive. However, deep down everyone knows this isn't the case. I'm sure you have heard the expression, "a girl to have fun with vs. a girl to take home to Mom"? The expression usually describes the typical tendency of a guy to want to enjoy an immodest or loose woman but take the good girl home to Mom when it comes time for marriage. Modesty is attractive on a much deeper level than the physical. It is attractive spiritually.

If you really think about it, though, modesty is also attractive in a physical way. By being modest a woman leaves more mystery. By being modest she leaves more for her future husband to look forward too. I don't know about most guys but I find the prospect of being with a woman who has never been seen or touched by another man VERY attractive. The fact that she is saving her body for me, not just from being touched but from being seen is attractive! It means I am getting something no other guy has gotten. It means she cared enough for me that she thought no other guy deserves what she is offering me!

To those who think you can't be modest and cool I say what about Sadie Robertson? She is 17 years old participating on Dancing With the Stars. Every outfit she has worn has been modest and every dance she has performed has been innocent. People are eating it up! It has been talked about so much (and not in a bad way mind you) that her and her family's personal decision, based on personal morals, has opened up a huge opportunity to share their faith!

To be clear I am not suggesting women begin wearing full robes or ankle length skirts everywhere they go. I am also not saying it is solely a woman's responsibility to keep men from lust. What I am suggesting is that by dressing modestly (not prudish) a woman can fulfill the Biblical commandment to encourage and help her brothers in Christ! And at the same time she may just draw in a partner based on spiritual and physical attraction that doesn't descend into lust!

I believe modesty is more than worthy of its own WCW. Modesty is a great thing to have a crush on! What are your thoughts? Could you see modesty being your WCW?

God bless!

Introducing the Christian Guy's Life!

My name is Dakota. I am a 21 year old Christian guy. I was born with the parts to be a guy and filled with the Spirit to make me a Christian! I was raised in an old-fashioned Christian home by a Stay-At-Home Mom and a United States Marine Dad. From an early age I have been taught old school values and standards. I was taught to hold doors, pray before you eat, protect the women in your life, and go to church! God is most important followed by family and then Country. The blood in my veins is red, white, and blue and I would shed it in a minute to protect any of the above.

I find I don't quite fit in with most of the world. I don't drink or smoke (although I have gotten enough second hand smoke at work..). I am still the "Big V" (yep virgin till marriage) and I don't date (try telling somebody you court instead of date and see what reaction you get!). My uber-traditional goals of being the bread winner and leader of the household tend to keep me single. Deep down I know I will one day meet that perfect woman who will allow me to treat her like a princess and will be there to help me lead our family but I have my days where I doubt it.

Life is a challenge. I think we can all agree to that. Christian life is like trying to complete an obstacle course blindfolded! Thankfully our Heavenly father is there to lead us through the obstacle course! And you know what the best part is? The best part is that even if we were in perfect shape and unblindfolded we would still never make it through the obstacle course. In fact without our blindfolds we would probably be so overwhelmed by the sight of the course we would lock up! But God offers to cover our eyes and lead us through the course. As long as we are allowing Him to lead we will walk through without stumbling! It's when we think we know better and try to follow our own instincts that we jar our shins or fall on our faces. 

As a regular practice I fall on my face and jar my shins. I try not to but I get full of myself and think I can get through the course on my own. Then I get a painful reminder that I am not as capable as I think I am or want to be! I have to humble myself and ask God to please take the lead again! I want this blog to be a tool. A tool for me, and hopefully you, to learn about life and maybe get a new perspective on things. I want you to interact so I can learn from your experiences and ideas! If you have a question then please feel free to ask! I will do my best to answer! 

Guys we have it rough! Our culture is turning very anti-guy! Maybe this is a way we can share the struggle! Ladies you got it tough because you have to put up with us guys! Hopefully if you read this you can get an idea what goes on in our mixed up heads! (Perhaps you could also explain to us guys what you ladies think because I am willing to bet most of us are completely at a loss-I know I am!)

So subscribe if you like the idea here! I try to keep things light-hearted but still try to be serious. I have done some stuff I am sure you can at least get a laugh out of (just ask me about the time I joined Christian Mingle....)

God bless!