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Man Challenge Monday: The Armor (Week 1)

Introduction

Man Challenge Monday is back! For the next few weeks we are going to discuss one of my favorite Bible passages: Ephesians 6:11-18! I love this passage and have always found it to be quite manly. I mean what guy doesn't like to think of himself as a soldier putting on armor? Having been raised a Marine Corp. brat, I also have always been infatuated with modern soldiers and such.

Considering the above, it will probably not surprise you that I am going to challenge all men to put on the Modern Armor of God! We don't use swords and chain mail anymore, so I am going to put a modern spin on this great passage! Sometimes it is difficult to understand the Armor of God. How do you put it on? What are some of the parts? Maybe as we go through this passage we can all walk away with a better understanding of the tools God has given us!

Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. -Ephesians 6:11-13

Doesn't that just get you all worked up! God has called us to arm ourselves and fight against an enemy stronger than any man! He has called us to struggle with ideas and demons! Against Satan himself! We are called to the most intense battlefield ever seen! That should also be scary! Because truthfully it is! It is terrifying! We are obviously outmatched and outnumbered! But then God goes on to give us tools to fight with!

We are commanded to put on the whole armor of God! We are headed into an evil day! When I think of an evil day I think of a day of hard battle and heavy losses. I imagine a soldier turning to his comrade in a blood soaked uniform, with a hot rifle in his hand and a body by his side, and telling him, "This was truly an evil day". Truth is, every single day Christians are fighting. We have to fight to defeat sin and fight to grow the Kingdom of God. Some days may be better than others. But there will always be "evil" days. 

We may face persecution. We could, one day, be jailed for our Faith. We will lose friends and opportunities due to our Faith. We will be broken down by our battle with sin in our own lives. We will wonder if victory is possible. These days will break us down physically, mentally, and emotionally. But God has more power and has offered us tools to fight with!

Week 1

For the first week in this series we will discuss the Belt of Truth:

 Stand therefore, having your lions gird about with truth.... -Ephesians 6:14 (partial)

In order to protect ourselves from the Devil's attacks, we are first commanded to put on the Belt of Truth. To us, a belt is just a tool to keep people from seeing our undergarments. To a soldier it is a way to carry the tools he needs to survive. To God's soldier it is not any different. We are to uphold truth always and let truth uphold us!

Putting on the Belt of Truth can mean two things. Firstly, the Belt of Truth may be donned by being truthful! Lying is a sin and, while any sin undermines our strength, lying is exceptionally self defeating! Much like a belt keeps us from being embarrassed, the Belt of Truth keeps us from being "caught with our pants down". Lying is shameful, and getting caught in a lie can definitely be embarrassing (not to mention people don't trust a liar). But a belt to a soldier is so much more important! He places his secondary weapon, his ammunition, and his tools all on his belt! If his belt is not strong he could lose this life saving equipment! So what else, but truth, could be used as a foundation to build upon?

Putting on the Belt of Truth can also mean the Truth of God! We live by God's Truth! His Truth is salvation through Jesus Christ! His saving Grace and forgiveness! This has to be the ultimate foundation to put our other tools on! His Truth is what sets us free. His Truth breaks chains and redeems souls! Before a soldier can join in the fight he has to be free to fight! The Truth of God is what sets us free!

So, today, put on the Belt of Truth! Always act and be honest! Let truth carry your tools. Fight for the Kingdom of God knowing that you are free by His Truth! Accept and embrace the Truth!

God bless!

Virginity Does not Define a Person's Value!

Several times I have had a young woman tell me that she is can't marry a virgin because no guy that waited would want a girl who didn't. These young women honestly believed they were less worthy as future wives because they were not virgins! They actually felt that a man who was a virgin would not want her!

As I write this I am not entirely sure who I am writing it to. On one hand, no woman should feel like she is less valuable because she has a past. On the other hand, they obviously got the idea that that was true from somewhere! So, I decided I would write this to both the girls and the guys! I suppose it would be simplest to split this up into two parts:

To Those Who Have Not Waited

As a virgin myself, I can tell you from experience what a guy who is waiting thinks of a woman who didn't. I can honestly tell you it is one of my heart's desires that my future wife will have waited for me. I so strongly desire to be her one and only. To have that special experience just between the two of us. 

However, I can also tell you that I understand how hard the world we live in is. I may be a virgin, but that doesn't mean I am perfect. I have made mistakes. Mistakes that I can't take back or erase anymore than a person who gave their first time away can. I hope and pray that my wife will be understanding and be able to forgive me for my mistakes. And she deserves the same!

I cannot ask her to forgive my mistakes if I can't forgive hers. If she has already given herself away it will absolutely break my heart. It will be something I will struggle to reconcile with. But the mistakes I have made are going to hurt my future wife as well. We all have made mistakes. Forgiveness cannot be contingent on the rule that you marry somebody who hasn't made any mistakes that you haven't. Forgiveness needs to be absolute.

The Bible commands we forgive one another without condition. And married couples are given additional instruction: Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;" Also, Ephesians 5:28 "In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." Christ loved the Church enough to not only forgive without stipulation, but to die for the sins of its people. In light of that is it really that much to forgive our future spouse for mistakes they may have made before we met? Also, we are commanded to love our spouse like ourselves! We want want to be forgiven, therefore we should want our spouse to be forgiven. And we are the ones who need to offer that forgiveness!

To Those Who Have Waited

If you are still a virgin waiting for your spouse, make sure you do not judge them on their past. Forgive and realize you need forgiveness. Remember, a "virgin" can still commit sexual sin! Without taking away the technical title of virgin a person can lust, view pornography, fantasize, or even touch in an inappropriate way. In all likely hood you have done at least one of these things. Nobody is perfect after all.

One thing I like to tell people who share that they have feelings of guilt over giving their virginity away before marriage is that they can claim a "second virginity". A second virginity is when somebody resolves to not have sex again until they are married. It may not be completely the same but it is a way to tell your future spouse that you care enough that you decided they were worth waiting for, even if you made mistakes before.

Really, if you love your future spouse enough to wait, don't you love them enough to forgive any mistakes they may have in their past? I mean, if they are still sexually active then you should stay away! But if they gave their virginity away in the past, then leave it there! Look at where their heart is now!

I know this looks to be written to guys, but that is because I am a guy writing it. Ladies please realize that guys are not as confident as they pretend to be! We are insecure, too! We worry that our mistakes may drive off our future wife or that she won't be able to forgive us! So, please, remember that we are not perfect either! And both girls and guys, NEVER use the mistakes of your spouse's past against them!

P. S. You may have noticed that I never used the term "lost their virginity". A person who willingly has sex with another person did not lose their virginity. They gave it away. Something lost is something you involuntarily lost control of. You choose who you give your virginity to!

Why Guys do Stupid Stuff

My truck got stuck today. Fine I got my truck stuck today! We went off roading in my 2WD truck (the way a real man does it!) and found a hole I could't get out of! In all fairness, I probably could have gotten out if I had just a few inches of lift on it! (Dear Santa.....) But we got out after a good Samaritan stopped to help us out. He was a guy who said he stopped because he has been in the same situation one to many times. Obviously, I am not the first guy to do something like this!

That is the point, though. Us guys are always getting ourselves in trouble aren't we? If we aren't getting ourselves stuck in the mud we are getting hurt. If we aren't getting hurt we are getting in trouble. If we aren't getting in trouble we are plotting ways to do one of the previous! I can remember doing all of the above. TP'ing a cabin (and shrink wrapping it) at camp was fun! Stealing and hiding my friends car was really fun. She denies to this day that she found it funny. She claims she was truly mad. I don't think she was but that is just my opinion. I don't have time to list the number of times and number of ways I have caused myself pain! (Although right off the top off my head I can remember trying to do a stunt on rollerblades that involved me and my friend riding toward each other and locking arms to do a crazy spin)

Point is guys are always doing something that probably would be better not done. If you think about it, all of these activities have one thing in common: they are high adrenaline. Lets just admit it, guys are adrenaline junkies! We love feeling that energizing chemical shoot into our veins! We get bored easy. When guys get bored we do weird stuff. We are not satisfied with a simple peaceful activity. By the time we get bored we want to do something to make up for that bored time! It is like we have to have a certain amount of excitement in our day and if you deprive us of it for a time we have to cram it into a shorter space of time!

What makes all of this worse is the fact that guys get no bigger thrill than they get out of showing off! We get an inordinate amount of pleasure from making somebody else say, "How did you do that!' or "Get down from there before you get hurt!" We like to amaze and scare people! And, like I have said in the past, we especially like it if said people are women-particularly attractive women! 

So really, if you think about it, this is really all other people's fault! Especially you women! We only do dumb stuff for your benefit-or because we weren't properly entertained! If you give us more attention and make sure you keep talking to us, we will act much less stupid!

It isn't that we try to get hurt or get into trouble. We just don't think about the consequences. We don't think that far ahead! We just think about the immediate results. "If I climb on that..." or "if I go do this" then we will look cool in front of our friends or that cute girl! We aren't thinking about what happens if we should fall and get hurt or if the wrong person should see us what kind of trouble we could get it. In our mind those consequences are not possible because we do not foresee them!

I have alot of these kinds of stories. I remember standing on my knees on a skateboard and going down a steep hill and hitting a makeshift ramp. Why did I do this you ask? Because a couple cute girls walked up. (yes I got hurt) I also remember trying to run across the top of several folding table/benches without touching the ground. Why? Me and my friend were trying to be parkhour master ninjas! (yes I got hurt) There are plenty of these stories. Sometimes, I got lucky and somebody else took the hurt from my bad ideas. Sometimes nobody got hurt and it just happened to work out!

Long story short, guys, try not to get bored and if you do try and keep using your brain to its full capacity. But girls... try to help keep us entertained and give us lots of attention! If that doesn't work... well there isn't much else you can do but to keep 911 on speed dial. I mean you can try and warn us of the potential consequences but we have already decided they don't exist so we probably won't listen. So good luck!

A Virgin's View on Sex

Our culture is sex crazed. We have an entire fashion show dedicated to attractive women strutting around in their underwear. We use sex to sell everything from cars to deodorant. Pornography is a multi-billion dollar industry. Most kids have had some form of sexual activity by the time they are out of high-school.

But none of that is really a true expression of sex as God intended, is it? God gave us sex as a gift for married couples to enjoy. It was intended to be an activity to bring a married couple closer physically and emotionally! Obviously, this beautiful expression of love has been tainted and skewed by the sin of this world! And Christians have played a large role in that.

Let me explain. Almost every people group in the world is more willing to talk about sex than Christians. Christians very rarely discuss sex. The people group that serves the God Who invented and gave us sex are afraid to talk about it! We should be the ones telling the world about how sex is supposed to be! Christians have sat back and accepted the world's guidance on sex!

As I was thinking about writing this I was tempted to not say certain things I wanted to. To censor myself because of the topic. Well, I decided not to do that. I decided that doing that would only be contributing to the problem! Christians need to talk about sex in order to prevent younger Christians from falling into sexual sin! 

Obviously, I have never had sex. I decided I was going to wait until marriage. This has been hard at times and I definitely am not saying I have waited in perfect purity. I have fallen into the same traps many men face like lust and pornography. By God's Grace I am growing and defeating sin. But having waited 21 years and counting has been a blessing! Most people wouldn't agree that any period of waiting is a blessing but waiting has been great for me!

Waiting to have sex has been great for several reasons. The most important reason is because waiting is what God has commanded. God never commands us to sacrifice for no reason. By waiting to have sex we make it so much more special! Imagine the first time experiencing sex being with your life long partner and best friend! If you are married you are obviously in love so the emotions are running high and with the long wait the physical tensions will be intense!

By waiting till marriage to have sex I have also come to a new place in my life that will make my first time better! I have matured enough to view sex as more than just a physical experience. I realize now that sex is an emotional and spiritual experience! Without ever having actually had sex I know it will be deeply emotional. I am sure that it will be even more emotional than I can imagine!

Sex really has to be emotional though. It is a very trusting thing. We are raised our whole lives to not let any person even see certain parts of our bodies, then we are suddenly not only allowing a person to see these parts but touch them! We are allowing somebody to touch us in intimate private ways and they are allowing us the same. Sexual pleasure is an extremely private thing and inviting somebody to enjoy it with us is the greatest expression of trust!

Physically, as well as emotionally, sex brings two people closer than almost any other activity. Literally you cannot be physically closer than when bodies are interlocked! That is why the Bible says we become one flesh! That is why it is reserved for marriage! And, by the way, if you are worried that sexual expression is not a Godly thing, read the Song of Solomon. And entire book of the Bible dedicated to healthy, God ordained sex!

Of course, there are times when waiting for sex seems like a curse. I am human, after all! Curiosity is there, desire is, obviously, there. I wonder what it is like to touch and be touched. I wonder what it is like to be fully joined together. I, very strongly, desire to experience what I have been told is a life changing experience. Something that is supposed to feel so good and is attached to such strong emotions seems like the experience of a lifetime!

However, I am waiting. For her, for me, because God commanded it! I don't want to share this experience with any other woman than the one I will spend my entire life with! My best friend! Sex is designed to strengthen an already strong bond and be a way to spend quality time with the person you love! After waiting for 21 years I want to make up lost time! After getting married I plan on spending alot of this kind of quality time with my wife. And that is how it should be! That is how God wants it! Having sex often is encouraged in the Bible! As is waiting till marriage! There are actually studies that prove waiting for marriage makes a marriage stronger and a couple's sex life better!

If I had to summarize a 21 year old virgin's view on sex I would say this. I am so excited for sex as both a physical and emotional pleasure that sometimes I can hardly stand it! But I am waiting because she is worth waiting for!

P.S. As Christians lets not be afraid to have healthy discussions about sex! Don't feel like the you have to hide it if you are excited for sex! Or are waiting for it! But be careful that our discussions of sex are edifying and not lust inciting! Also we don't "lose" our virginity. We choose to give it away!

Duderonomy!

There should be a book called Duderonomy. It would explain to our prettier counterparts why Dudes do the things they do. Why we pretend we cannot feel pain, why we do things to cause ourselves pain, and why we generally do both in front of attractive women.

Here I will outline some of the themes this book could contain. Such as an entire subsection on why all guys think they are Houdini, Evel Knievel, and Thor rolled into one. You know, that moment when we bet we can untie ourselves from a chair while jumping over a car. And of course we yell and talk in our deep God of thunder voice while we do it.

This book would definitely discuss the importance of fire and explosions in a guy's life (I think all men are direct descendants of the vikings). Maybe it could also cover why all guys think they are (or pretend they are) pyrotechnicians. I think we have all blown up or burned up something we didn't need to in ways we probably shouldn't have.

Maybe Duderonomy would explain every man's fascination with fast cars and big trucks. How we enjoy the idea of controlling a couple thousand pounds of steel and plastic hurdling down the road at speeds we cannot attain on our own. Or our tendency to take our big trucks down trails and into mud holes where we get stuck or fear we will get stuck!

Most likely the author of such a book would include the Dude like tendency to tinker with stuff trying to make it work better (usually better is defined as faster or completely outside the realm of its intended purpose). After all this is why we never have remote control toys long and why our cars sound like Harleys.

And no book on guys would be complete without a chapter on our favorite topic: women. Why we want them, why we want to protect them, why we want to treat them like royalty (sometimes the latter is not associated with men however a MAN will want that. Its the BOYS that give us a bad rap). It would also talk about why some of us never seem to win any women over.

I hope this book would talk about our zeal for God. How a true man wants nothing more than to serve Him. And how God designed us to serve Him in unique ways. How we are supposed to be aggressive in our pursuit of His purpose. And how, like everything else, we want to think of ways to make His Kingdom grow bigger and grow faster!

God bless guys everywhere and God please keep us safe from our own delusions!

Woman Crush Wednesday: Proverbs 31:28-31

Wow! Today we finish up our WCW series on the Proverbs 31 woman! It has been such a pleasure to write about this and I have appreciated the support from everybody! I am not sure what will come next (you should definitely follow to see) but I seem to recall Titus 2 had some verses about Godly women....

Anyway, back to this week! This week we are covering verses 28-31:

Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates. Proverbs 31:28-31

These verses largely focus on the result of being a Proverbs 31 woman. Her children call her blessed and her husband praises her! It says "she shall be praised. Give her the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates"! She receives the praise she has earned! She is reaping the fruit of her labor! (hint hint guys: the Bible says she should be praised. Why not give a Proverbs 31 woman a compliment?)

These verses also sum up the entire passage nicely. "Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman who respects the Lord shall be praised." Physical beauty is not forever and will not make anybody happy. A man can marry the world's most beautiful woman, but if she is worldly and she does not act like a Godly woman she will drive him crazy! And favor can be faked. A woman can pretend to favor a person. BUT, a woman who respects, loves, desires, chases God! That is lasting, that will make a man happy!

A Godly woman will be successful. She will have God guiding her and helping her in all aspects of life. She will attain success by His strength. Also, if she truly is a disciple of God, she will treat her man right! She will do good by her household! She will work hard to help her family and the community! She is generous, loving, caring, hard-working, and amazing! I know "amazing' is a pretty broad term but is there any other way to describe the Proverbs 31 woman? Any woman who puts out the effort to be a Proverbs 31 woman should be praised! It is more than a Wednesday crush!

God bless!

What is Courting and Why Should I do it?

Last week I shared my love life with you all. The love life of a 21 year old who barely courts. I got a bunch of feedback from everybody and I really appreciate it! One thing that I was asked, and have been asked before, was whether courting was really necessary for adults. After all, we are adults, we should be able to control ourselves and make good choices, right?

This week I really want to look into this question and explain why courting is beneficial for any age! There are some misconceptions about courting that I would like the opportunity to clear up. There are several important reasons I, and many other people, believe courting is the best path toward marriage. Before we get into the reasons it is so valuable, however, lets look at what it actually is.

Courting is an alternative to dating as a means to get to know a potential spouse. Some people like to call courting "dating with purpose" because courting rejects the practice of bouncing from relationship to relationship like dating is sometimes defined by. It is not that simple however. Courting is a driven relationship that allows two people to get to know each other in a more true way while also providing an accountability filled environment to do so. In a courting relationship both parties understand that there is a good possibility the courtship will end in marriage. That is why the relationship was started. Courtship is also about getting to know your girlfriend/boyfriend in a more genuine way than one-on-one dates allow. Courtship is generally carried out with a chauffeur present to help the couple remain accountable. An example of a courtship "date" would be spending the day with one or the other's family or going to the mall with one or the other's siblings.

So, now that we have a general idea what courting is (by the way no two people court exactly alike, that was just a basis) lets talk about why we should court! There are a ton of reasons why courting is such a healthy way to get to know somebody you are interested in marrying!

Courting provides an accountable environment for the couple to grow in. This is one of the more touchy points about courting. I have been asked several times if it is really necessary for adults who can make their own choices. The answer is a resounding YES! We never outgrow the need for help! We never get so good that we can't fall! Temptation will attack and everybody knows that humans do not have the best track record when it comes to beating temptation! Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. Mathew 26:41. Jesus recognized how weak the flesh is! That is why He commanded us to watch and pray! The Bible also tells us that a wise person accepts wise council. The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. Proverbs 12:15. (Just a bonus one for you: The Bible says you have greater success if you take advice. If marriage is the end goal then success is definitely desirable, right? Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed. Proverbs 15:22.)

Courting provides  a way to really evaluate a potential mate. Dating tends to be about going on dates. You get together and the two of you go see a movie, or the two of you go eat, or the two of you go skating. Whatever you do it is usually just the two of you. Therefore, you get to see your potential mate when they are on there best behavior and are focused solely on you. You don't really get to see how they behave outside of the romantically charged atmosphere of the date. And, realistically speaking, who can't be good for a couple of hours to eat a meal, go skating, go for a walk, or watch a movie (OK, how do you get to know somebody at all by sitting in a movie theater for 2 hours without speaking?) Having that person around your family, your church family, and their own family, will allow you to better see how they are in real life!

Courting provides practice in stability. It also protects your heart. Nobody likes heart break, and most of us would agree that it would be nice to save our hearts solely for our mate. Courting can help ease heartbreak and help us save our hearts! Breakups will happen. Most of us will not marry the first person we court. And it will hurt. But courting eases the severity of the pain. In courting we protect our hearts because the relationship is driven towards marriage, so as soon as we see that marriage is not an option, we... (wait for it this may surprise some people) WE BREAK UP!! Do NOT continue a relationship you know is not going to lead to marriage! Another great part of this is that, since we only court people we truly believe we may want to marry, we are not bouncing from relationship to relationship! Alot of people date just for fun when they know there is no chance of marriage with their girlfriend/boyfriend. Dating is like practicing for divorce! You date this person and get bored and move on to the next person. Courting is not like that!

Courting also provides more opportunity for your family to give feedback on a potential spouse. You should really listen to your family's advice. They know you better than anyone! If they don't approve of a relationship you should really consider ending that relationship. Obviously, you are an adult and can make your own choices, but it is wise to listen to your family-especially your parents!

The above mentioned benefits of courtship are not the only benefits, but those are some of the major ones. Courtship lets you get to know your potential spouse better, lets you see what their spiritual life is like, lets you see how they are with family, and protects you from falling into sin and/or getting your heart broken. Obviously, it is not a perfect system. Things can still go wrong. That is why the MOST important part of any relationship is prayer! Pray to God to give you wisdom and protection! Pray that He will guide your relationship and tell you His plans!

This was my attempt at summarizing courtship and it's benefits. You can read Joshua Harris's books for more info or any of the books listed in the blog post that started all of this. I may even write my own book about it! God bless!

The Adventure Called Brotherhood!

This Christian guy happens to be a brother to 7 (yes that is SEVEN) siblings! Brotherhood cannot really be called anything other than an adventure! I have one brother and 6 (yes SIX) sisters! I am the oldest of our crew, which can be good and bad. Being the oldest I got to be the guinea pig of the family. I got to do some things my siblings didn't because after I did them my parents realized it wasn't such a good idea. My siblings got to do stuff I didn't because my parents realized it wasn't a big deal. I was a good guinea pig!

My situation is interesting because I have siblings close to my age, as well as some ALOT younger then me. My youngest sibling is 3ish months and my oldest sibling is 19 years old. We have been through alot together, good and bad. Being an older sibling has been a huge blessing to me! It has been one filled with lessons and adventures. Maybe it is because I am the oldest, or maybe it is just the way I am wired, but I have usually been the one to come up with the bad ideas. Usually my brother (occasionally my sister) has taken the beating for the REALLY bad ideas. For example, I was the one who decided we should attempt a world record for the most people sledding down a hill on one inner tube. He was the one who face-planted in the ice. (By the way, parents can see right through that "it's not as bad as it looks" line)

Us three older siblings grew up together. We shared alot of memories. Me and my brother have shared a room for years. We used to make up games with flashlights and stuffed animals when we were younger. When we got older we played Mario Kart until late at night (now that i am an old man I go to bed well before he does). The three of us used to play all sorts of games of our own imagining. I remember building cars out of tinker-toys, smashing them, and then bringing them to my sister "the mechanic" to fix (Ironically I am actually a mechanic now... but I still like to smash stuff). One particularly dumb game we used to play, involved a 2 liter soda bottle filled with water, mud, rocks, etc. being thrown into the air towards the other siblings who had to run to avoid it.

We fought like normal siblings but we were always close. We knew how to cheer each other up and how to annoy the stew out of each other! I remember "hanging" my sisters stuffed bears by the attic door pull cord. I also managed to rig up a plastic spider to swoop out of the medicine cabinet at my sister when she opened it (I am especially proud of that one). One tine after watching a movie about bogey men living under the bed, I hid under my brothers bed and grabbed his ankle when he sat on it before bed. They may have gotten me a couple times along the way. Maybe.

Now I am learning what it is like to have baby siblings. There is alot more hugs and kisses and high pitched voices. Pat-a-cake and this little piggy are alot more common. For some strange reason I walk around at work whistling nursery rhymes. There are bottles to be given, hair to be brushed, boo-boos to be kissed, and snuggles to be had. It is all a great part of the family adventure!

Having baby siblings is also preparing me to be a better Dad and husband one day. After all i know how to make bottles, change diapers, put cribs together, and a plethora of other baby things. I have developed an iron stomach. I have been spit on, bled on, spit up on, thrown up on (yes there is a difference), peed on, and pooped on. I got this.

Being an older brother also comes with the responsibility of being a good example. If I do it, it is likely somebody else will do it. Sometimes I have been a good role model, others... not so much. By God's Grace I am growing and learning everyday. I am trying to be what He calls me to be. Being an older sibling is an extra incentive to work at being a good example. The times I have influenced my siblings to grow in God have really been important to me. And the times I have been a bad example have taught me to be careful.

Overall being a sibling is great! I cannot imagine being without my brother and sisters! After all, without them who would I pull practical jokes on? And who would I use to pull off dangerous stunts? Who would I have to talk to when I am lonely? Thank You God for my family!

Woman Crush Wednesday: Proverbs 31:25-27

It is WCW again! Today is the day we crush on those admirable attributes of Godly women! But first I would like to thank you all for the feedback on Monday's post! It was really great to hear from all of you! Between the messages of encouragement and the stories from some of you telling me you feel the same way I was really blessed! Thank you so much! We will definitely be talking more about relationships as I can see it is just as important to you all as it is too me!

Back to Woman crush Wednesday. The past few WCW post have been talking about the woman described in Proverbs 31. Last time we discussed her work ethic. We didn't really talk about it but the verses we covered also spoke about how the Proverbs 31 woman is generous. This week we are crushing on the attributes discussed in verses 25-27:

Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 

-Proverbs 31:25-27

This passage is, in some ways, different than the previous ones we have covered. Instead of starting off with what the Proverbs 31 woman does with her actions, this passage starts with what she is in her being. Strength and honor are her clothing. The Proverbs 31 woman is strong and honorable! Only a Proverbs 31 woman has the strength and honor to actually practice being a Proverbs 31 woman! She is not easily broken. She faces hardships that would cripple a man (have you tried leaving a man home alone with kids?)

Honor and strength are complimentary features. A Proverbs 31 woman has the strength to act honorably when things get tough and she is honorable enough to strive to be strong. She also has the strength and honor to honor and submit to her husband. You may remember last weeks verse, "her husband is know in the gates" (Proverbs 31:23). She brings honor to her husband. It is ironic that our culture claims submitting to your husband is weak when God calls it strong!

The Proverbs 31 woman speaks wisdom and kindness. She opens her mouth in wisdom and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She thinks about what she says before she says it (we could all benefit from this one I think). She only speaks in kindness. She isn't using her voice to tear people down or hurt people. She understands the importance of her words and how they affect people.

Then to finish this passage off we get back to her roots as a homemaker. She looks well to the ways of her house and doesn't eat the bread of idleness. She uses the honor and strength she has to care for her house. She speaks with wisdom and kindness to everybody, including her family. The Proverbs 31 woman is, again, not lazy when it comes to the care of her home and its inhabitants.

So there you have it! This week we are crushing on strong, honorable, wisdom and kindness speaking women! It is always fun to write about the amazing character of a Proverbs 31 woman! Now I just need to find me one! If you enjoy the content I post, including WCW, then please subscribe! You can also connect with me on Facebook and Twitter!

God bless!

The Love Life of a 21 Year Old Who Rarely Courts

This week's post is deeply personal to me. I am going to share my love life with you. Specifically, I am going to share with you what it is like being a single 21 year old who doesn't date. Courting is not a popular practice anymore. Most people don't understand it. I probably won't go into alot of detail on what courting is in this post, however, if you would like to know more about it tell me in the comments and I will do a post on it later.

So like I said, I am 21 years old and single. I have only had one official courtship and it only lasted a month and a half (it doesn't take me long to know if it will work or not). At my age alot of my friends are in relationships, getting engaged, or getting married. It is hard to watch. Loneliness comes in many forms. I have my family but I have this constant sense of something missing.

Nobody understands this either. It's not that people don't try. They just don't get it. Having a wife and family is one of my biggest dreams in life. While other people want their career or their single life, I just want a great Biblical marriage and family. Career driven friends tell me to "be patient", and "your time will come", or "I'm older than you and I'm still single". When they say these things I smile and say the right things but inside I want to scream, "easy for you to say!" They already have or are working on their dream! Their career is their biggest goal.

People who date don't understand how hard it is to court. They don't get the loneliness. People who date generally have somebody they can talk sweet to, or buy flowers for, or hold hands with. I think I have 30 seconds of collective hand holding time and I haven't even had my first kiss! This may not be typical of all people who court, but I am very picky. Very few girls will make it to the courting phase (only one so far). Typically, I can decide if there is any potential based on one or two conversations. Therefore, I very rarely pursue a courtship! When you are a conservative Christian who wants to have a stay-at-home wife who will homeschool any kids the two of you may have, finding said wife is hard!

Last night I wrote a letter to my future wife. I figure that maybe putting it all down on paper will make it easier. If I remember I will give it to her one day. Another thing people don't generally understand is that I love my future wife. I am already in love with her. I don't even know that we have seen each other yet but I know I love her. Every crush I have ever had, every prospective mate, and the one courtship have all given me this taste for what love is. I know that none of those past experiences were true love so I can imagine how much greater and stronger true love will be!

I try to show my love for my wife every day. I know she doesn't see it know but I hope one day she will appreciate how much I have loved her. I have tried to show my love for her by not giving what belongs to her to somebody else. That is why I haven't had my first kiss. That is why I am still a virgin. It is the reason I don't date. I want to save as many experiences for her as possible. First kisses, first time having sex, first time falling in love, those are all huge life events. I have spent 21 years apart from my other half and experienced alot without her. I want those big life events to be moments we share together. A first kiss means alot more when it is shared with a life partner. Falling in love is a huge experience that doesn't happen often. Having sex for the first time should be an amazing, intimate, emotional moment. Having sex at all should be! I truly only want to experience that with one person!

This post is my best attempt at explaining what single life is like for a 21 year old who courts. Or maybe I should say for a 21 year old who rarely courts. It isn't perfect but maybe it gives you an idea. It was definitely therapeutic for me to write about it. If you would like to know more about courting I highly reccomend Joshua Harris's books, I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship. Both are excellent books. Also When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy is a great book on the topic.

For now, though, I will keep waiting. I can't promise I will have a patient heart, or that I will be perfect, but I will be doing my best by God's Grace. I will be doing my best to trust in Him and remember that He has a plan. God bless everyone!

My First YouTube Video! (Its Okay to Laugh)

Ahhh YouTube! That internet land where people embarrass themselves in a myriad of interesting and unique ways. Well I have joined the embarrassed masses with my own video! Everybody has to loosen up and have fun  sometimes, right? Well here is me having fun trying to be a comedian! God did say that laughter was the best medicine!

Try not to laugh at me too hard....

Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving! Today is the day we all gather together and remember the things we have to be thankful for (and tomorrow we go fight over more things to be thankful for...). If you are anything like me you probably ate way to much food and probably too much of that food was sweets!

I think alot of the time we forget what today is really about. We remember the food and family time but we forget the thankfulness part. I know I am guilty of that! With current events in our country being what they are, it is not hard to get caught up in who's side we are on and who is in the right. Today, at least today, we can step back and think about not what is wrong with our country but what we have in our country.

As I look at my life I realize I am blessed in a number of huge ways! I am so thankful for my family, my friends, my job, my freedom, and so much more! The most important thing I have, though, is my God and the salvation He gives me! Not only have I been blessed with this gift of salvation, but I have been blessed with the freedom to live out my faith!

Today's post is short, but I just want to use this moment to remind you to be thankful! Step back and look at your life today and think about what you can be thankful for!

The Duggars vs. LGBT Radicalism

If you are a fan of the popular TLC show 19 Kids and Counting, you are probably aware that its stars, the Duggar family, are under attack. This is nothing new for the controversial family, but this is perhaps one of the biggest attacks they have faced. The Duggar family is under attack because they have beliefs. They are under attack because they are exercising their 1st amendment right to free speech. The are under attack by a group I like to call the "radicalized LGBT".

In recent years the LGBT community has emerged as one of the greatest threats against America as we know it. You see the LGBT radicals are not attacking America like most previous assailants. They are not using the violent methods employed by radicalized Muslims, or the cyber attack methods used by cybeterrorist. No, the LGBT activist have made the very foundation of America their target. The LGBT radicals are attacking our freedom. 

Do not be fooled by the mass media. This attack on the Duggars is not about anything but the LGBT's radical desire to conform everybody's belief to their own. The Duggars were not hateful. They have never been threatening. They simply hold beliefs that they are not afraid to express. According to the new LGBT radicals that is a crime. It is a crime to have an opinion other than their own. If you do not agree with them then you are not allowed to speak about it. You are not afforded the same rights that all other Americans are.

We have seen this over and over again. Just this year: Phil Robertson was fired from his family's show, Duck Dynasty, and much of the show's merchandise ripped from shelves because he voiced his opinion against homosexuality (this was overturned after Christians and freedom loving Americans stood up and fought for the family); the Benham brothers had their show on HGTV cancelled after previous comments reflecting their opinion against homosexuality surfaced. They also lost a major business deal with SunTrust banks (that decision was never reversed); Mozilla CEO Brendan Eich was forced to step down form his position in the company after he made a donation in support of traditional marriage; and Chic-Fil-A was attacked yet again (this seems to be an almost yearly event). 

Do you see the issue? None of these people or people groups ever attacked the LGBT community or did anything other than express their opinion that homosexuality is wrong! They simply made a statement or a donation. In other words, they took advantage of their right to the freedom of speech. They used a right that is guaranteed to all Americans! And the LGBT radicals are attempting to take that right away.

Now is a crucial time for us. As Christians and as a country. We need to decide what we want our, and our children's, future to be like. If we want to continue to operate as a free nation we need to STAND UP! If we want to continue to be a free religion we need to STAND UP! This is not about gay vs. straight. This is about freedom. This could have been titled "Freedom vs. Oppression" and meant the same thing. We are fighting for freedom. We are fighting for the right to live as Americans no matter what our beliefs are. We want to be allowed to express our beliefs, just as any LGBT activist should be able to do as well. See, we are not against the LGBT community expressing their beliefs. We are not against them fighting for what they believe in. We just want them to respect our right to disagree without losing our lively hood.

If you want to stand up for freedom you should sign the petition supporting the Duggars. If you sign it doesn't necessarily mean you agree with them, just that you believe they, like any other American, deserve to be free! The Traditional Marriage vs. Homosexuality battle will be fought on the political front. It will be fought in votes and laws. While that battle is fought in other places though, we can, and should, ensure we do not promote the violation of any groups rights!

If you would like to join in the fight for freedom you can sign either of these petitions:

change.org petition

Life Site News Petition

Kidnapping My Mom

This last week I kidnapped my Mom. Is that Momnapping? After I kidnapped her, I force marched her down a 16 mile trail in bear and outlaw infested woods. I also trudged her through rivers and ruined her shoes. We almost didn't make it back, and she almost got a ticket to boot!

At least that is the story she tells. My version is a bit different. Actually, in my version the whole thing was her fault. I just drove her out into the country to show her where I wanted to live. She decided we should detour to the state park. What's more she decided we should get out of the car and walk into the woods to see the waterfall. Now, being my Mother and all, she should have realized that I wouldn't be content with staying in sight of the car. No, she should have realized that her adventurous son would want to explore some!

So you see, it was all her fault! And as far as the bears and outlaws go, it was a state park! And I carried a knife (this didn't seem to reassure her too much but I felt she should have had a bit more faith in me...). And we don't live in bear country! And I could have taken a bear on! (My head got bigger than my biceps for a second there) Like I said it was no big deal! We walked maybe a mile and a half. My Dad, my brother, and me are going to go hike the whole 16 miles in the next few weeks. It is beautiful country!

My Mom is so funny. She carried on and complained but she was secretly enjoying it. She would complain and I would tell her she needed to regain her sense of adventure. Those are the moments we will remember forever. We pick on each other relentlessly. She carries on about something and I give her a wave and laugh. I complain about something or another and she says I'll live. We love to mess with each other and egg each other on. It is just part of our relationship.

I truly feel blessed to have my Mom. We are really close. Some people don't understand that. They think I should be excited to leave home and get out on my own. Truth is I love my whole family and I abhor the idea of living alone! I plan on living with my family until I start my own family. And I think it makes me more ready for that time.

The Momnapping incident in question is just one of the many adventures we have had and can laugh about. It was also the first one we had had in quiet a while. I think we should have adventures more often. In fact I think I may force her to ride in my truck while I hit some rough trails. I can see her gripping the door handle like it is the only thing keeping her on Earth and cringing while she yells at me. Makes me smile to think of the raw fear. And while she is scared to death I will laugh. And laugh. And laugh. In between fits of laughter I will tell her not to worry because I am a professional (I am so not an off-road professional).

So guys go kidnap your Mom! Or another family member! Go have fun with your family! Whatever you like to do! Make some memories! You won't always have your family. One day you will be starting a new family. You won't have your first family as much. You should forge your relationship with memories now! God gives us families so we have people we love to go on adventures with.

Woman Crush Wednesday: Proverbs 31:13-24

It is WCW again and, as you might know, we have been covering the many admirable attributes of the "Proverbs 31" woman! The next several verses all share a similar theme so we will condense a large passage into one post this week.

"She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant"

 -  Proverbs 31:13-24

This passage, though it appears long, is mostly on just one theme. There are several messages here but this week we are focusing on two: The proverbs 31 woman is industrious and she looks after her home.

First lets talk about the industrious nature of the Proverbs 31 woman. As you can tell from the above passage, she is anything but lazy! In fact, the Proverbs 31 woman seems to be extraordinarily busy! The passage lays out several entrepreneurial projects that she has taken onto herself. She is in the business of real estate, gardening, making clothing, and dealing with merchants from far away! She is always busy providing for her household both in physical things and in monetary means. It says her light doesn't go out at night because of how busy she is!

The passage also details how the Proverbs 31 woman cares for her home. This is definitely not a very popular concept in modern culture but the Proverbs 31 woman is a homemaker! She is in charge of all household affairs and that is her main priority. Everything she does in this passage is either directly for her home or done in a way so it doesn't interfere with her ability to care for her home. She does not place herself at the mercy of a master to tell her when she is allowed to be at home. She is self employed so she can be there when she is needed!

Something that really irks me about our modern world is how homemakers are looked down on. If a man is heard saying he wants to marry a homemaker or stay-at-home Mom, he is likely to be told he is sexist. He is likely to be told he shouldn't hold on to ancient stereotypes that demean women and their role in the world. How insulting to stay-at-home Moms everywhere! People who make comments like this assume that every woman wants to have a career outside the home and is not valuable if she doesn't! News flash! Some women want to be homemakers! And that is not somehow lowly! It is one of the hardest jobs there is! Most men couldn't do it!

Think of it this way: if 2 men join the Army and one goes over seas to fight in a foreign land, but the other stays stateside, are you going to look down on the one who stayed? Is he less of a man for not going over seas to fight? Is his service less valuable? No, of course not! And all of us will be glad that some Army personnel stayed behind if we are ever attacked! It is the same thing here. A woman who decides to be a homemaker has decided to be the soldier on the home front! What she does is not any less valuable or important. It is just different.

The other misconception is that homemakers must be lazy. After all, they don't go to work! They just hang out at the house all day! To this I will simply say; try it. I bet you realize soon that it is not that easy. My Mom was, and is, a stay-at-home Mom and I respect her more than any woman on the face of the Earth! She works hard! Being a homemaker is like governing a small town! You have to keep everybody happy, everything clean, everyone healthy, the house well stocked, and manage the house economy! It is not easy! The verses above shows how hard it is!

With all that said, thank you! Thank you to all of the industrious homemakers out there! You are our Woman Crush Wednesday this week! God bless!

A Review for "Interstellar": Should Christians Watch It?

Interstellar has been the talk of the film industry for the last week or 2. The film has garnered huge amounts of attention for the artistic value it holds as well as the message it contains (the financial success of the film has been discussed as well). It isn't breaking ticket sales records but it is still doing quite well for an original, non-sequel film. The question is does it live up to the hype? And more importantly for Christians, should we watch it?

Seeing this film myself I can attest to the fact that it is, artistically, a really great film. The fact that I felt the movie was too short after nearly 3 hours can attest to that. Unlike Christopher Nolan's last big project, the Batman Trilogy, this film did not suffer from stiff acting and wooden dialogue. The film flowed well even when it stepped into the unbelievable. The script was very well written with a very natural flow to it. The casting was excellent. Mathew McConaughey leads this film perfectly in a role that returns him to the adventurer type character he seems to be born to play. The entire cast including veterans Anne Hathaway (The Princess Diaries, The Dark Knight Rises), Michael Caine (Inception, The Dark Knight), Topher Grace (Spider-Man 3), John Lithgow (Footloose), and Wes Bentley (The Hunger Games), stepped into and made their respective roles great!

Thematically, the film combines action/adventure and dramatic elements into a great sci-fi adventure. There are moments in the film to choke you up, put you on the edge of your seat, and make you jump out of your seat (one scene literally made everybody in the theater jump). The film is also, for the most part, a believable story. Of course, there are plot points that are based on theories Christians know to be untrue as well as a few points completely made up for artistic reasons, but overall it was well grounded. Even with the scientific background of the film, that delves into the theory of relativity and space time dialation, you can enjoy, and understand, the film without taking college courses on the work of Einstein. The film's dialogue explains everything adequately enough for the average person.

Just because a film is artistically great doesn't mean it is appropriate for a Christian though. Interstellar does indeed have some problems for the average Christian. First of all there are language concerns. God's name is paired with a swear word once and their are two uses of the F-bomb. Excluding those instances (which are both contained in 2 scenes) the swearing was mild overall. Most Christians will probably find their biggest issue in the film's theological themes.

This is not a Christian film by any means. In fact, most would agree that Interstellar is decidedly humanistic. Humanity is largely the focus throughout the film. Mathew McConaughey's chararcter muses that, "Mankind was born on Earth, it was never meant to die here". The environmentalist approach of describing the world as a dying planet is ever present throughout the film. The characters are willing to put their faith in man to save them but never are seen to ask God for help. The most spiritual reference we get is when we are told that a mysterious "they" has taken steps to influence our world and minds to save humanity. This "they" is later revealed and it is not God or a spiritual force.

I would not simply disregard Interstellar due to the fact it does not contain a strong Christian message. There is a strong emphasis on the power of love and the importance of family is stressed. Our heroes act in a selfless manner to save the human race. We also see some fantastic shots of God's creation in space that may be CGI but offers a glimpse of just how awesome He is. There is also discussion about greed and how technology has hurt society.

While there isn't an outright Christian message in the movie, it does offer an outstanding opportunity to discuss Christianity and God. We can walk away and discuss the perfect nature of God's creation. We can discuss the flaws in the characters thought processes and how Christianity offers us a true understanding of our world that humanism cannot. There is also plenty of opportunity to discuss time and how it can be used effectively (not to mention all the opportunities to discuss the theory of relativity and how it applies to time).

Overall, I would say Interstellar is a great artistic piece that is also a thought provoking converstaion generator. Do I think Christians should watch it? I don't think they shouldn't. There are some great themes in this film and even the not so great themes are not oppressive. The film is highly entertaining and, at the very least, should offer a few hours of entertainment to anyone who watches.

Why Guys Love Action Movies!

How many guys do you know that don't love action movies? Most guys love a good, old-fashioned, blow 'em up, shoot 'em up, beat 'em up action movie! Most people chalk it all up to chromosomes but it is more than that. Men are chemically, mentally, and biologically inclined to like action movies! Action movie DNA runs through our blood! (Girls if you like action movies too it doesn't mean you are chemically imbalanced. Just really awesome)

Guys have alot more testosterone in their bodies than women. It makes us bigger, physically stronger, more hairy, and more aggressive. We tend to think of aggressive means to settle issues and grievances. If we see an innocent person get punched in the face we are more likely to punch the assailant than to check on the victim. We want to see justice served! Plus, when we fantasize about dishing out action hero justice there is usually a pretty woman near by. (I have to be honest if I am going to blog about the inner workings of guyism) However, since most of us will never get to live out these fantasies, we fulfill them through movies we watch!

It has to be admitted that an ego is a big part of being a guy. Big as in we have big egos. Maybe I should quiet admitting all of this but first I have one more. As big as us guys' egos are, we are actually really insecure. We really are! Part of our problem is we always feel like we need to be the best or we aren't good enough. That isn't to say we are never confident in ourselves. We are sometimes but it is shaky. People tend to think of women as the ones having self confidence issues but really men are just as bad! We just handle it in a different way! That is why it means so much to us if a woman calls us her hero or lets us know she needs us.

The point here is that guys use action movies to live things we can't. I guess when we watch action movies we feel tough. We might be a bit delusional about our ability to replicate what we see but we fuel our imaginations through film. Maybe we don't have the strength or technique to disarm a gunman while simultaneously incapacitating his 2 not so friendly buddies, but we sure have the ability to imagine we did and that a gorgeous blonde was standing by watching adoringly!

As you can see guys need action movies. Where would we be without them? Besides having alot less ideas to fuel our fantasies, we would lose a safe place to go to fulfill our unrealistic dreams! So go enjoy your action movies! Please, if you are any good as a filmmaker go make some Christina action movies! We can be stereotypical action movie lovers together!

Woman Crush Wednesday: Proverbs 31:11-12

It is that time of the week again! The time we crush on Godly characteristics of women! As you know, if you read last week's WCW, we are currently covering Proverbs 31! This passage of scripture is used often as a tool to teach women how to live a Godly life as a female. We are walking through this passage and discussing why, from a guy's perspective, a Proverbs 31 woman is so attractive!

"The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." -  Proverbs 31:11-12

This is a great couple of verses from the passage but a couple of verses that seem to be overlooked quiet often. A Proverbs 31 woman is trustworthy and does good by her husband. That seems like common knowledge. I mean Christians in general are supposed to be trustworthy, right? And what wife shouldn't be good to her husband? As plain as it may seem God considered it important enough to mention so it must be important enough that we should take note!

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. A Proverbs 31 woman's husband not only trust in her but safely trust in her. She doesn't just seem reliable. She is reliable! After all, just because we judge something to be trustworthy doesn't mean it actually is. Bridges have collapsed, people lie, buildings fall, security fails, etc. It is extremely important that we trust things that are truly trustworthy. A false sense of security can be dangerous! If you have ever climbed one of those plastic rock walls you put your trust in a harness. You trusted that harness to stop you if you fell. What if that harness was weakened in the middle in a place you couldn't see? What if you fell on the weakened harness and it broke? The fact that you thought it was trustworthy does not save you from hitting the ground!

So that he shall have no need of spoil. Sometimes, feeling safe, is just as important as being safe. We need that peace of mind to keep us rested. Proverbs 31 women are so trustworthy that their husbands can rest in them. They do not need to go gather spoil to please them because they have a trustworthy wife to rely on. Think about how much easier it would be to be faithful to somebody you know is faithful to you. By being a trustworthy wife, a proverbs 31 woman, makes her husband a more trustworthy husband (and vice versa). Now that doesn't mean there is any excuse for being dishonest or untrustworthy. I am simply saying it is easier for 2 people to encourage each other if both are trustworthy. 

She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. A Proverbs 31 woman does good by her husband as long as she lives. She is always looking out for him and trying to provide for his needs. And he should do the same for her! How much happier could we be if we spent our lives trying to make one another happy?

Another twist on this last part I really like. Joshua Harris' wife (who I believe is named Shannon) discussed, in one of his books, how she read this verse as the woman does him good and not evil all the days of her life even before she meets her husband. Imagine that! Imagine starting to do good by your husband before you even meet him! How does a woman do this? By saving your heart and body for him and preparing yourself to be his. (By the way guys this is something we could all be doing for our future wives)

So this week we are crushing on trustworthy women who love and take care of their husbands all the days of their lives! It is hard to find a woman like this anymore. Proverbs 31:10 mentions how hard it is to find a virtuous woman and this is just one feature of a virtuous woman!

Man Challenge Monday: I don't Want to Sell it to You

Today I have a big challenge for all of the men. This is a really hard one. In fact it is so hard I don't want to sell it to you. Its too ugly for that. (Yes I stole a Red Dawn quote and I now feel really cool). What I am going to ask you to do is be a 1 Timothy 4:12 leader.

"Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity." - I Timothy 4:12

Most people have probably heard or read this verse. It is a pretty recognizable verse. It is also a very applicable verse. Even if you are not exactly a... ahem.. spring chicken, please don't think this verse isn't for you! This verse applies to people of all ages, physical and spiritual!

Paul wrote 1 Timothy as a letter to a young man named Timothy (surprise!). He wrote alot of different instructions to his young disciple in the book and this verse spells out a very important one. Paul tells Timothy to be a leader no matter how young he is. No matter how looked down on he may have been due to his age, Timothy is instructed to throw that aside and be an example!

Now you may be wondering why is this so hard? Why is it so ugly? Well, as an oldest sibling, and a youngest coworker, I understand both sides of the age coin. All of my fellow oldest siblings know that a certain amount of respect is given to the oldest sibling. We carry a bit of clout, if you will, with the younger siblings. At some point or another (or several) we all fall into the pride trap a bit with this extra "clout". Then we step out into the real world.

It hits you like a slap in the face. In the real world, we aren't always the oldest. Often, even if we happen to be older than some, we do not get much, if any, respect from our peers. It is a difficult situation we find ourselves in. Of course we are to respect our elders. In fact the next chapter of 1 Timothy discusses that, but that does not mean they are always right. Any person, not matter what age, is a flesh and blood person prone to failure like the rest of us. Sometimes we may need to lead somebody who is senior to us.

This verse tells us how we are to lead them: by example. Different translations differ on whether Timothy is instructed to be an example of or to the believers. In the end I do not think there is much of a difference. We are called to do both. We are instructed to "Abstain from all appearance of evil" in 1 Thessalonians 5:22. That is to protect our witness to the lost! Titus 2 is all about Christians being examples to other Christians. Plus, how can you live as a Godly representative of Christianity, if you aren't living in a way to be a Godly example to other Christians?

How do we lead? Thankfully, Paul didn't just drop the "don't let people look down on you because of your age" bomb without some instruction. We are to lead by example in several different areas. First we are instructed to lead by example in word. Words are powerful. They have a huge effect on the people who hear them. They are a reflection of our own hearts. "But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man." (Mathew 15:18)

Is that not scary? The things you say are directly related to what is already in your heart! We can show our love of Christ by guarding our words! This could be a complete discussion in and of itself! For the sake of brevity, lets just say things like swearing, crude jokes, crude discussions, mean comments, and the like, are obviously not things we as Christians are supposed to be allowing out of our mouths! This is a hard one I know but it is very important! People notice if you are the only one who doesn't swear. It has an effect whether you know it or not!

Next we are instructed to lead in conversation. Again, this is a word that is changed between translations. Some say actions and some say conversations. Either way, as we stated above we need to be careful with our words. Words make conversations. Our actions also shape our conversations. We talk about things we do or have done. Even if our words are perfect and we only discuss good things, people watch our actions. If you say one thing in conversation and do another in action, you will lose the respect of people watching.

Charity is the next act we are to lead in. Love and charity are often interchangeable in the Bible. If we are loved by God, how much more should we love others? Mathew 22:39 sates that the second most important commandment for a Christian is to "love your neighbor as yourself". Love is so important that the entire concept of Christianity relies on it. After all without love Jesus would never have died for us wretched sinners!

We are also to lead in spirit. How much spirit do you have? What kind of spirit do you have? Do you tend to be of a joyful spirit? If we walk around mad at the world or if we walk around with a noose around our neck, why would anybody want to be a Christian? Psalm 100:2 says, "Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing." We are commanded to be joyful! What a great commandment! If we live it out we can reach more people for Christ!

Faith is a very important facet of Christianity. After all, without faith there is no belief. We have to use faith everyday and we need to make sure others know about it! We have no salvation without faith! "For by grace are you saved through faith" (Ephesians 2:8). We can live out our faith by speaking of it. Speak of how you know where you will go when you die. Speak of how you trust God to provide for you. Just speak faith!

Finally, we are instructed to lead in purity. I have read that this actually is closer to today's term integrity. Integrity is very important. If we are not honest, or can't be trusted to do the right thing, then we are not shining a positive light on God or His people! If we cannot be trusted then how can somebody believe us when we tell them about God's great salvation?

I also think this verse means purity in the purest sense of the word (couldn't resist). Purity as in being pure. There are alot of different ways we can be pure or can think of purity but the first to come to mind is sexual purity. In today's sex crazed culture, sexual purity is probably the biggest battle of any Christian! Sexual purity is also a very private thing, but it tends to become public knowledge. If you shy away from discussions about sex or graphic physical descriptions of the opposite gender, people notice. Often you will find yourself asked outright about your sex life (not sure why. I dont ask about their sex life...).

If you truly try to do this it will be tough. People will make fun of you, spite you, and treat you different. You won't fit in. You will be different. But your supposed to be. Nobody said the Christian life was easy. It can be easy on your conscious. It can be easier if you cast your cares upon God. But you will still struggle. Sometimes, though, it is the struggle that make us stronger. If you accept the challenge to be a Timothy 4:12 leader you will see a difference. Some people will respect you more. Others will respect you less. Some will clean up their act around you. Some will try their best to drag your mind, your ears, and you through the gutter with them.

"Let no man despise your youth". You have been told by God Himself to not allow people to look down on you for your youth. He even told you how to go about it! Are you man enough to take Him up on that?

That Time I Tried Online Dating

Everybody has done things they said they never would. Most of us have done something we said we would never do and the regretted it. We have all different motivations for doing these things and we end up with all different results. Maybe it isn't something actually bad either. Maybe it is just something crazy. Like joining Christian Mingle.

That was my moment of craziness. I joined a website that claims they can "find God's match for you". Looking back on it I know why I did it but if common sense would have prevailed I wouldn't have done it. What on Earth would lead me to believe a website that claims to have God's match for me actually would? I mean the corny commercials and the presumptuous tagline should have been warning enough!

See, this crazy decision, to join an online dating site, was brought about by another crazy decision. And like most crazy decisions guys make, it can all be traced back to a girl. Most people won't understand why this is all that crazy but I asked a girl out. I know for most people that would seem pretty normal but I am 21 and that was the first time I asked a girl out. Since I don't date and actively practice courtship this was pretty crazy. Plus she may, or may not, have been a team lead at a place I work...

Anyway, how did I go from asking out a girl to joining an online dating site? Well, she wasn't interested. What's worse (and probably due to my inexperience on these kinds of things...) it took me asking her out 3 times to get that. In my defense she never said no. She always said maybe which I figured meant if she wasn't busy.... So I was kind of crushed. I mean my first time asking a girl out and I pretty much humiliated myself and then she wasn't even interested in giving me a shot. Who wouldn't have been upset?

When you add up the despera... errr.... longing for a special someone, and the sting of rejection, and the idea of an easy place to meet other Christian singles, you end up with a 21 year old on Christian Mingle (I would also add that my Mother threatening to sign me up herself may have influenced the decision but she rejects this as true). Deep down I think I knew it wouldn't work, but even deeper down I was desperate for anything to work!

In all honesty, I figured signing up for Christian Mingle would at the very least make for a good laugh. Plus if you say it is just for laughs people will laugh with you and not at you! But what did I find after joining? A number of things. I found that chatrooms were addictive, people are creepy, and I am much smoother online than in person (who isn't?), and that the internet is not a very private place! I enjoyed goofing off on the site but it did not take me long to realize it wasn't for me.

In real life I am not a "lady killer". Being an pale, ugly bean pole means I am not turning very many heads. I don't get "checked out" or flirted with usually. There may have been a few occasions but not many. Of the few occasions I have been flirted with it was not from a woman 10+ years older than me. That would be weird. I'm 21, I don't want a 30 year old or older! Well on Christian Mingle love apparently knows no age. I had women well over 10 years my senior flirt with me or check out my profile. Then there was that guy (shudder). Let us just say the internet is a strange place.

I had fun on Christian Mingle. I got to laugh at a few creeps, flirt in the chatroom a bit, and even talked to a few girls more seriously. But the creepers were too much. I actually had one girl ask which airport I lived closest too so she could fly out and see me one day! Like no thanks! I don't even know you! That is the scary thing about online dating though. You give all of this information out about yourself to people who may or may not be real, honest people! I learned through Christian Mingle that I can be a detective! Based on first name, location, job, username, or sometimes last name, I discovered I could find people on Facebook. Heck, there was one girl (who I never spoke to) that I was able to find where she went to church, where she worked, and what kind of car she drove! Definitely not safe!

Aside from my catfish detective ambitions, I realized that no website could take God's place. I struggle to trust Him still. I want to trust Him and just have inner peace but I find myself in my own personal hurricane. My biggest fear in life is that I will die single or not get married until I am 30. I know it seems silly but it really does terrify me. People don't understand how hard it is. They try to offer good advice and encouragement but they don't understand. Maybe it isn't as hard for them but they have different ambitions than I do. They have different lifestyles. Everybody that tells me to be patient has other big goals that are more important to them than getting married. Everybody that says look how old they are and still single has had dating relationships to appease them, if you will.

It isn't that I don't have any goals other than getting married. I do. But besides living for God, getting married is my biggest desire. Most guys are worried about their careers or enjoying the single life. I am working on my career but it isn't my driving force in life. Having never dated I can't say the single life is for me. When people who date try to tell me to "just keep on waiting" and "my time will come" I kind of want to smack them! Of course you aren't worried about it! You get to experience at least some fulfillment in the romance department! How can you tell me to be patient when you aren't having to wait? Sure I could date. But that isn't what I feel called to and quiet frankly it doesn't look fun. Breakups are about as fun as driving nails into my head. I know I would never find fulfillment in a dating relationship.

I understand that I should have faith in God. And, really I do. I know He has a plan for me. I just can't help but feel left behind sometimes. I can't help but feel forgotten. And lonely. But I know God is there and He cares. He has plans to prosper me (Jeremiah 29:11) and He will always provide for me. Just maybe not through an online dating site!

Woman Crush Wednesday: Proverbs 31 Woman (Intro vs. 10)

I'm sure it has been done a million times but I want to dissect the "Proverbs 31 Woman" passage of scripture. I may not do the whole thing without interruption. If another quality strikes my fancy any given week we may skip a week.

I love this passage of scripture. It begins in Proverbs 31:10 and spans to the end of the chapter. It is probably the most direct description of what a woman should be in the Bible. I totally have a crush on Proverbs 31 women!

Proverbs 31:10 reads, "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies." A virtuous woman is worth more than rubies. Not just more than but far more than rubies! I don't know about you but I haven't purchased any rubies lately. Probably in part because I am a guy, but also because I can't afford them!

Rubies are expensive because they are rare and beautiful. You can't walk into your backyard (most likely) and dig up a ruby! What makes this so scary is the fact that a virtuous woman is worth far more than rubies and, by implication, that would mean she is far more rare and beautiful! I can tell you from my own experience that a virtuous woman is not an everyday find. I haven't met many. I definitely haven't met any in my backyard!

As we continue breaking down this passage we will learn just what a virtuous woman is. For the time being, we can say with certainty that she is rare and beautiful. She is also valuable. If you have a virtuous woman in your life you should take care of her! Respect her! If she happens to be your significant other guard her! If you had a handful of rubies I bet you wouldn't risk losing or damaging one. How much more so should you fear losing or hurting an even more rare and beautiful gem-your virtuous woman!

Man Challenge Monday: Minister

It is MCM again! I am sorry my post comes so late in the day! My weekend has been crazy and my week hasn't been so calm thus far! I did, however, learn I am getting a new position at work that will make posting much easier!

All of that aside I need to have a challenge for today and I honestly haven't thought to much about it in all this craziness! I will just wing it today and see how it goes. I really intend on being more prepared from now on! This week I challenge myself and any guy reading this to minister to others!

Ministering to others isn't so popular anymore. Not many people have a servant's heart. Ministering to somebody can be as simple as opening a door or picking up a dropped item. If you know somebody going through a rough time tell them to let you know if they need anything. And then if they call on you be there!

Sometimes holding doors or picking up a pacifier for a mother with her hands full is all the ministering somebody needs. Other times it may be preparing meals for somebody who lost a loved one or helping fix a neighbors car. Ministering comes in all shapes and sizes but we are all called to it! Christians are called to love. Jesus Himself said the second most important commandment (right behind loving God) was to "'Love your neighbor as yourself" (Mark 12:31). How good does it feel when somebody holds a door for you? Do you appreciate a stranger helping you pick stuff up when you drop it? Would you want a car savvy neighbor to help you fix your vehicle? If we enjoy and want these things for ourselves we should do them for others! After all we are to love others like we love ourselves!

One of the most important parts of ministering is to smile while you do it! Be kind and show that you really care! Somebody may be having a horrible day and you might turn it around! The only way we can reach the world is by being different from it! Take a bag of skittles. Choose one red skittle. Then take all of the red skittles from the bag and mix them with yours. Now find the one you picked. You can't. They are all the same. Now put your red skittle in a pile with all green skittles. I bet you can find yours alot easier now. In order to shine for Christ we have to be different. If we are no different than the world then we blend in with everything around us and our religion becomes one more part of the blurred background.

"This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine". Let your light shine!

God bless!

Spending the Morning in a Police Car

Technically it was a truck. Not that it really matters. Thankfully, I was in the front seat, not the back. Oh and the second one was actually a SUV (well crossover SUV). In case you haven't guessed I had an exciting Saturday morning!

Saturdays are a hard day to write. As everything winds down, and I have a day or two without posting, I get flooded with ideas. I actually had two ideas for today before I got off work. Then I rode in a police truck. The morning has been anything but typical. I got off work late due to a power outage (when you are a mechanic in a factory you don't like power outages). Looking back at it as I write, I can't help but wonder if God wanted me to be late. On my way home I came across a vehicle stopped, hazards on, in the middle of the road. It was still dark, at that point, and it has been cold and rainy all day. Maybe that is why I stopped. Usually, I don't stop. After all who can you trust anymore? But for some reason I felt like I should stop this time. I noticed the car's right wheel was messed up when I drove by, however the car was in reverse. So I stopped and waited to see if they needed help getting off the road. It became apparent they did. That is when things got interesting.

Like I said, I don't usually offer to help strangers on dark roads. We live in a dangerous world! But I did. It didn't take long for me to realize something was wrong. As soon as I got to the car I noticed there was no tire on the left side. Odd. The wheel looked pretty beat up too. I knocked on the window and asked the driver (well sitter...) if she needed help. Her reply threw my back. She said she did need help and she didn't know why her car wouldn't work even in all the different gears! Ummm.....you kind of don't have any tires! As I explained to her that she had no wheels on the front of her car she seemed shocked! I asked her if she hit something (the bumper was tore up too) and she told me she hadn't. It was pretty obvious that the car was NOT going to move so I asked if I could give her a ride to the shopping center across the street where she could call a tow truck. She agreed to that.

As soon as she stepped near me red flags went off. I have not been around alcohol a whole lot but she smelled pretty strong of what I thought was alcohol. She never slurred in her speech though so I couldn't be sure. On the way to my truck (maybe 50 feet away) she nearly fell over 3 times. Yea not good. Then when she finally made it to the truck, she seemed to have forgotten that I had offered her a ride. After insuring that she could ride with me she got in and was polite and grateful. When the cops pulled up I left her in the truck and jogged over to her car. I explained what was going on and the officer drove me back over.

In the end she tested WAY over the limit and was arrested for DUI. The most shocking part? It wasn't her first DUI and she was only SEVENTEEN! Here was this beautiful, seemingly sweet, 17 year old girl getting put in a squad car. She was so hammered she either fell asleep or passed out in my truck (Thank you God that she didn't throw up!). But you know what I felt then and have felt the rest of my day since then? Heartbreak.

I don't know her life or her situation but I was suddenly heartbroken for her. She is so young. She should have so much future ahead of her, yet here she is getting taken out of a strangers car, that she probably won't remember, and getting arrested. I could feel her nervousness and fear as I spoke to her. She was scared. I'm sure in that moment she was lonely. I wonder, if she is turning to alcohol as often as it seems she is, how lonely is she everyday?

It is so easy to judge somebody for the choices they make. It is so easy to look down on them and say they are getting what they deserve. But what about compassion? I know I am so guilty of forgetting to be compassionate. I find myself on a high horse saying, "well I don't do that stuff", but what have I done? There is sin in my life. There have been times I didn't feel worthy to clean toilets the rest of my life. There were times I wondered how I was even going to continue with my life! We all have dark times. We all have struggles. Alot of the time we turn to sin to help us forget or cope with other situations in our lives. We substitute God and meaningful relationships for sin. One of the hardest things to consider is where we would be if everybody saw our sin. If your sin was as plain to see as this young woman's how would you feel? Would you be looked down on? Could you cope?

This girl tugs at my heart. Maybe she is lonely and thinks she has to drink to have friends. Maybe she has a hard home life and drinks to escape. Maybe she lost somebody and drinks to forget. Are any of these good reasons? Probably not, but what are your reasons? What are my reasons? We are not perfect. We are saved by GRACE! "For by grace are you saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:" (Ephesians 2:8) We are not saved because we are better than anyone else. The famous Bible verse John 3:16 begins, "For God so loved". For God so loved us He saved us. Maybe if we loved more, God's love could be seen more. If a perfect, sinless God can forgive and love us in our dirtiest place, shouldn't His people who sin and live in the dirt love and forgive as well?

After the cops showed up I didn't get to talk to her much. I asked the officer to give her the name, address, and phone number of my church. Not sure if it will help but I wanted her to know I cared. I wanted her to feel like, even in that dark moment, somebody cared for her. Maybe knowing somebody cared will be enough to get her to look beyond what she is facing. Maybe she will call the number. Maybe she will find out that there is a God who cares infinitely more than I can. Maybe....