A Virgin's View on Sex

Our culture is sex crazed. We have an entire fashion show dedicated to attractive women strutting around in their underwear. We use sex to sell everything from cars to deodorant. Pornography is a multi-billion dollar industry. Most kids have had some form of sexual activity by the time they are out of high-school.

But none of that is really a true expression of sex as God intended, is it? God gave us sex as a gift for married couples to enjoy. It was intended to be an activity to bring a married couple closer physically and emotionally! Obviously, this beautiful expression of love has been tainted and skewed by the sin of this world! And Christians have played a large role in that.

Let me explain. Almost every people group in the world is more willing to talk about sex than Christians. Christians very rarely discuss sex. The people group that serves the God Who invented and gave us sex are afraid to talk about it! We should be the ones telling the world about how sex is supposed to be! Christians have sat back and accepted the world's guidance on sex!

As I was thinking about writing this I was tempted to not say certain things I wanted to. To censor myself because of the topic. Well, I decided not to do that. I decided that doing that would only be contributing to the problem! Christians need to talk about sex in order to prevent younger Christians from falling into sexual sin! 

Obviously, I have never had sex. I decided I was going to wait until marriage. This has been hard at times and I definitely am not saying I have waited in perfect purity. I have fallen into the same traps many men face like lust and pornography. By God's Grace I am growing and defeating sin. But having waited 21 years and counting has been a blessing! Most people wouldn't agree that any period of waiting is a blessing but waiting has been great for me!

Waiting to have sex has been great for several reasons. The most important reason is because waiting is what God has commanded. God never commands us to sacrifice for no reason. By waiting to have sex we make it so much more special! Imagine the first time experiencing sex being with your life long partner and best friend! If you are married you are obviously in love so the emotions are running high and with the long wait the physical tensions will be intense!

By waiting till marriage to have sex I have also come to a new place in my life that will make my first time better! I have matured enough to view sex as more than just a physical experience. I realize now that sex is an emotional and spiritual experience! Without ever having actually had sex I know it will be deeply emotional. I am sure that it will be even more emotional than I can imagine!

Sex really has to be emotional though. It is a very trusting thing. We are raised our whole lives to not let any person even see certain parts of our bodies, then we are suddenly not only allowing a person to see these parts but touch them! We are allowing somebody to touch us in intimate private ways and they are allowing us the same. Sexual pleasure is an extremely private thing and inviting somebody to enjoy it with us is the greatest expression of trust!

Physically, as well as emotionally, sex brings two people closer than almost any other activity. Literally you cannot be physically closer than when bodies are interlocked! That is why the Bible says we become one flesh! That is why it is reserved for marriage! And, by the way, if you are worried that sexual expression is not a Godly thing, read the Song of Solomon. And entire book of the Bible dedicated to healthy, God ordained sex!

Of course, there are times when waiting for sex seems like a curse. I am human, after all! Curiosity is there, desire is, obviously, there. I wonder what it is like to touch and be touched. I wonder what it is like to be fully joined together. I, very strongly, desire to experience what I have been told is a life changing experience. Something that is supposed to feel so good and is attached to such strong emotions seems like the experience of a lifetime!

However, I am waiting. For her, for me, because God commanded it! I don't want to share this experience with any other woman than the one I will spend my entire life with! My best friend! Sex is designed to strengthen an already strong bond and be a way to spend quality time with the person you love! After waiting for 21 years I want to make up lost time! After getting married I plan on spending alot of this kind of quality time with my wife. And that is how it should be! That is how God wants it! Having sex often is encouraged in the Bible! As is waiting till marriage! There are actually studies that prove waiting for marriage makes a marriage stronger and a couple's sex life better!

If I had to summarize a 21 year old virgin's view on sex I would say this. I am so excited for sex as both a physical and emotional pleasure that sometimes I can hardly stand it! But I am waiting because she is worth waiting for!

P.S. As Christians lets not be afraid to have healthy discussions about sex! Don't feel like the you have to hide it if you are excited for sex! Or are waiting for it! But be careful that our discussions of sex are edifying and not lust inciting! Also we don't "lose" our virginity. We choose to give it away!