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Man Challenge Monday: The Armor (Week 1)

Introduction

Man Challenge Monday is back! For the next few weeks we are going to discuss one of my favorite Bible passages: Ephesians 6:11-18! I love this passage and have always found it to be quite manly. I mean what guy doesn't like to think of himself as a soldier putting on armor? Having been raised a Marine Corp. brat, I also have always been infatuated with modern soldiers and such.

Considering the above, it will probably not surprise you that I am going to challenge all men to put on the Modern Armor of God! We don't use swords and chain mail anymore, so I am going to put a modern spin on this great passage! Sometimes it is difficult to understand the Armor of God. How do you put it on? What are some of the parts? Maybe as we go through this passage we can all walk away with a better understanding of the tools God has given us!

Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. -Ephesians 6:11-13

Doesn't that just get you all worked up! God has called us to arm ourselves and fight against an enemy stronger than any man! He has called us to struggle with ideas and demons! Against Satan himself! We are called to the most intense battlefield ever seen! That should also be scary! Because truthfully it is! It is terrifying! We are obviously outmatched and outnumbered! But then God goes on to give us tools to fight with!

We are commanded to put on the whole armor of God! We are headed into an evil day! When I think of an evil day I think of a day of hard battle and heavy losses. I imagine a soldier turning to his comrade in a blood soaked uniform, with a hot rifle in his hand and a body by his side, and telling him, "This was truly an evil day". Truth is, every single day Christians are fighting. We have to fight to defeat sin and fight to grow the Kingdom of God. Some days may be better than others. But there will always be "evil" days. 

We may face persecution. We could, one day, be jailed for our Faith. We will lose friends and opportunities due to our Faith. We will be broken down by our battle with sin in our own lives. We will wonder if victory is possible. These days will break us down physically, mentally, and emotionally. But God has more power and has offered us tools to fight with!

Week 1

For the first week in this series we will discuss the Belt of Truth:

 Stand therefore, having your lions gird about with truth.... -Ephesians 6:14 (partial)

In order to protect ourselves from the Devil's attacks, we are first commanded to put on the Belt of Truth. To us, a belt is just a tool to keep people from seeing our undergarments. To a soldier it is a way to carry the tools he needs to survive. To God's soldier it is not any different. We are to uphold truth always and let truth uphold us!

Putting on the Belt of Truth can mean two things. Firstly, the Belt of Truth may be donned by being truthful! Lying is a sin and, while any sin undermines our strength, lying is exceptionally self defeating! Much like a belt keeps us from being embarrassed, the Belt of Truth keeps us from being "caught with our pants down". Lying is shameful, and getting caught in a lie can definitely be embarrassing (not to mention people don't trust a liar). But a belt to a soldier is so much more important! He places his secondary weapon, his ammunition, and his tools all on his belt! If his belt is not strong he could lose this life saving equipment! So what else, but truth, could be used as a foundation to build upon?

Putting on the Belt of Truth can also mean the Truth of God! We live by God's Truth! His Truth is salvation through Jesus Christ! His saving Grace and forgiveness! This has to be the ultimate foundation to put our other tools on! His Truth is what sets us free. His Truth breaks chains and redeems souls! Before a soldier can join in the fight he has to be free to fight! The Truth of God is what sets us free!

So, today, put on the Belt of Truth! Always act and be honest! Let truth carry your tools. Fight for the Kingdom of God knowing that you are free by His Truth! Accept and embrace the Truth!

God bless!

Virginity Does not Define a Person's Value!

Several times I have had a young woman tell me that she is can't marry a virgin because no guy that waited would want a girl who didn't. These young women honestly believed they were less worthy as future wives because they were not virgins! They actually felt that a man who was a virgin would not want her!

As I write this I am not entirely sure who I am writing it to. On one hand, no woman should feel like she is less valuable because she has a past. On the other hand, they obviously got the idea that that was true from somewhere! So, I decided I would write this to both the girls and the guys! I suppose it would be simplest to split this up into two parts:

To Those Who Have Not Waited

As a virgin myself, I can tell you from experience what a guy who is waiting thinks of a woman who didn't. I can honestly tell you it is one of my heart's desires that my future wife will have waited for me. I so strongly desire to be her one and only. To have that special experience just between the two of us. 

However, I can also tell you that I understand how hard the world we live in is. I may be a virgin, but that doesn't mean I am perfect. I have made mistakes. Mistakes that I can't take back or erase anymore than a person who gave their first time away can. I hope and pray that my wife will be understanding and be able to forgive me for my mistakes. And she deserves the same!

I cannot ask her to forgive my mistakes if I can't forgive hers. If she has already given herself away it will absolutely break my heart. It will be something I will struggle to reconcile with. But the mistakes I have made are going to hurt my future wife as well. We all have made mistakes. Forgiveness cannot be contingent on the rule that you marry somebody who hasn't made any mistakes that you haven't. Forgiveness needs to be absolute.

The Bible commands we forgive one another without condition. And married couples are given additional instruction: Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;" Also, Ephesians 5:28 "In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." Christ loved the Church enough to not only forgive without stipulation, but to die for the sins of its people. In light of that is it really that much to forgive our future spouse for mistakes they may have made before we met? Also, we are commanded to love our spouse like ourselves! We want want to be forgiven, therefore we should want our spouse to be forgiven. And we are the ones who need to offer that forgiveness!

To Those Who Have Waited

If you are still a virgin waiting for your spouse, make sure you do not judge them on their past. Forgive and realize you need forgiveness. Remember, a "virgin" can still commit sexual sin! Without taking away the technical title of virgin a person can lust, view pornography, fantasize, or even touch in an inappropriate way. In all likely hood you have done at least one of these things. Nobody is perfect after all.

One thing I like to tell people who share that they have feelings of guilt over giving their virginity away before marriage is that they can claim a "second virginity". A second virginity is when somebody resolves to not have sex again until they are married. It may not be completely the same but it is a way to tell your future spouse that you care enough that you decided they were worth waiting for, even if you made mistakes before.

Really, if you love your future spouse enough to wait, don't you love them enough to forgive any mistakes they may have in their past? I mean, if they are still sexually active then you should stay away! But if they gave their virginity away in the past, then leave it there! Look at where their heart is now!

I know this looks to be written to guys, but that is because I am a guy writing it. Ladies please realize that guys are not as confident as they pretend to be! We are insecure, too! We worry that our mistakes may drive off our future wife or that she won't be able to forgive us! So, please, remember that we are not perfect either! And both girls and guys, NEVER use the mistakes of your spouse's past against them!

P. S. You may have noticed that I never used the term "lost their virginity". A person who willingly has sex with another person did not lose their virginity. They gave it away. Something lost is something you involuntarily lost control of. You choose who you give your virginity to!

Why Guys do Stupid Stuff

My truck got stuck today. Fine I got my truck stuck today! We went off roading in my 2WD truck (the way a real man does it!) and found a hole I could't get out of! In all fairness, I probably could have gotten out if I had just a few inches of lift on it! (Dear Santa.....) But we got out after a good Samaritan stopped to help us out. He was a guy who said he stopped because he has been in the same situation one to many times. Obviously, I am not the first guy to do something like this!

That is the point, though. Us guys are always getting ourselves in trouble aren't we? If we aren't getting ourselves stuck in the mud we are getting hurt. If we aren't getting hurt we are getting in trouble. If we aren't getting in trouble we are plotting ways to do one of the previous! I can remember doing all of the above. TP'ing a cabin (and shrink wrapping it) at camp was fun! Stealing and hiding my friends car was really fun. She denies to this day that she found it funny. She claims she was truly mad. I don't think she was but that is just my opinion. I don't have time to list the number of times and number of ways I have caused myself pain! (Although right off the top off my head I can remember trying to do a stunt on rollerblades that involved me and my friend riding toward each other and locking arms to do a crazy spin)

Point is guys are always doing something that probably would be better not done. If you think about it, all of these activities have one thing in common: they are high adrenaline. Lets just admit it, guys are adrenaline junkies! We love feeling that energizing chemical shoot into our veins! We get bored easy. When guys get bored we do weird stuff. We are not satisfied with a simple peaceful activity. By the time we get bored we want to do something to make up for that bored time! It is like we have to have a certain amount of excitement in our day and if you deprive us of it for a time we have to cram it into a shorter space of time!

What makes all of this worse is the fact that guys get no bigger thrill than they get out of showing off! We get an inordinate amount of pleasure from making somebody else say, "How did you do that!' or "Get down from there before you get hurt!" We like to amaze and scare people! And, like I have said in the past, we especially like it if said people are women-particularly attractive women! 

So really, if you think about it, this is really all other people's fault! Especially you women! We only do dumb stuff for your benefit-or because we weren't properly entertained! If you give us more attention and make sure you keep talking to us, we will act much less stupid!

It isn't that we try to get hurt or get into trouble. We just don't think about the consequences. We don't think that far ahead! We just think about the immediate results. "If I climb on that..." or "if I go do this" then we will look cool in front of our friends or that cute girl! We aren't thinking about what happens if we should fall and get hurt or if the wrong person should see us what kind of trouble we could get it. In our mind those consequences are not possible because we do not foresee them!

I have alot of these kinds of stories. I remember standing on my knees on a skateboard and going down a steep hill and hitting a makeshift ramp. Why did I do this you ask? Because a couple cute girls walked up. (yes I got hurt) I also remember trying to run across the top of several folding table/benches without touching the ground. Why? Me and my friend were trying to be parkhour master ninjas! (yes I got hurt) There are plenty of these stories. Sometimes, I got lucky and somebody else took the hurt from my bad ideas. Sometimes nobody got hurt and it just happened to work out!

Long story short, guys, try not to get bored and if you do try and keep using your brain to its full capacity. But girls... try to help keep us entertained and give us lots of attention! If that doesn't work... well there isn't much else you can do but to keep 911 on speed dial. I mean you can try and warn us of the potential consequences but we have already decided they don't exist so we probably won't listen. So good luck!

A Virgin's View on Sex

Our culture is sex crazed. We have an entire fashion show dedicated to attractive women strutting around in their underwear. We use sex to sell everything from cars to deodorant. Pornography is a multi-billion dollar industry. Most kids have had some form of sexual activity by the time they are out of high-school.

But none of that is really a true expression of sex as God intended, is it? God gave us sex as a gift for married couples to enjoy. It was intended to be an activity to bring a married couple closer physically and emotionally! Obviously, this beautiful expression of love has been tainted and skewed by the sin of this world! And Christians have played a large role in that.

Let me explain. Almost every people group in the world is more willing to talk about sex than Christians. Christians very rarely discuss sex. The people group that serves the God Who invented and gave us sex are afraid to talk about it! We should be the ones telling the world about how sex is supposed to be! Christians have sat back and accepted the world's guidance on sex!

As I was thinking about writing this I was tempted to not say certain things I wanted to. To censor myself because of the topic. Well, I decided not to do that. I decided that doing that would only be contributing to the problem! Christians need to talk about sex in order to prevent younger Christians from falling into sexual sin! 

Obviously, I have never had sex. I decided I was going to wait until marriage. This has been hard at times and I definitely am not saying I have waited in perfect purity. I have fallen into the same traps many men face like lust and pornography. By God's Grace I am growing and defeating sin. But having waited 21 years and counting has been a blessing! Most people wouldn't agree that any period of waiting is a blessing but waiting has been great for me!

Waiting to have sex has been great for several reasons. The most important reason is because waiting is what God has commanded. God never commands us to sacrifice for no reason. By waiting to have sex we make it so much more special! Imagine the first time experiencing sex being with your life long partner and best friend! If you are married you are obviously in love so the emotions are running high and with the long wait the physical tensions will be intense!

By waiting till marriage to have sex I have also come to a new place in my life that will make my first time better! I have matured enough to view sex as more than just a physical experience. I realize now that sex is an emotional and spiritual experience! Without ever having actually had sex I know it will be deeply emotional. I am sure that it will be even more emotional than I can imagine!

Sex really has to be emotional though. It is a very trusting thing. We are raised our whole lives to not let any person even see certain parts of our bodies, then we are suddenly not only allowing a person to see these parts but touch them! We are allowing somebody to touch us in intimate private ways and they are allowing us the same. Sexual pleasure is an extremely private thing and inviting somebody to enjoy it with us is the greatest expression of trust!

Physically, as well as emotionally, sex brings two people closer than almost any other activity. Literally you cannot be physically closer than when bodies are interlocked! That is why the Bible says we become one flesh! That is why it is reserved for marriage! And, by the way, if you are worried that sexual expression is not a Godly thing, read the Song of Solomon. And entire book of the Bible dedicated to healthy, God ordained sex!

Of course, there are times when waiting for sex seems like a curse. I am human, after all! Curiosity is there, desire is, obviously, there. I wonder what it is like to touch and be touched. I wonder what it is like to be fully joined together. I, very strongly, desire to experience what I have been told is a life changing experience. Something that is supposed to feel so good and is attached to such strong emotions seems like the experience of a lifetime!

However, I am waiting. For her, for me, because God commanded it! I don't want to share this experience with any other woman than the one I will spend my entire life with! My best friend! Sex is designed to strengthen an already strong bond and be a way to spend quality time with the person you love! After waiting for 21 years I want to make up lost time! After getting married I plan on spending alot of this kind of quality time with my wife. And that is how it should be! That is how God wants it! Having sex often is encouraged in the Bible! As is waiting till marriage! There are actually studies that prove waiting for marriage makes a marriage stronger and a couple's sex life better!

If I had to summarize a 21 year old virgin's view on sex I would say this. I am so excited for sex as both a physical and emotional pleasure that sometimes I can hardly stand it! But I am waiting because she is worth waiting for!

P.S. As Christians lets not be afraid to have healthy discussions about sex! Don't feel like the you have to hide it if you are excited for sex! Or are waiting for it! But be careful that our discussions of sex are edifying and not lust inciting! Also we don't "lose" our virginity. We choose to give it away!

Duderonomy!

There should be a book called Duderonomy. It would explain to our prettier counterparts why Dudes do the things they do. Why we pretend we cannot feel pain, why we do things to cause ourselves pain, and why we generally do both in front of attractive women.

Here I will outline some of the themes this book could contain. Such as an entire subsection on why all guys think they are Houdini, Evel Knievel, and Thor rolled into one. You know, that moment when we bet we can untie ourselves from a chair while jumping over a car. And of course we yell and talk in our deep God of thunder voice while we do it.

This book would definitely discuss the importance of fire and explosions in a guy's life (I think all men are direct descendants of the vikings). Maybe it could also cover why all guys think they are (or pretend they are) pyrotechnicians. I think we have all blown up or burned up something we didn't need to in ways we probably shouldn't have.

Maybe Duderonomy would explain every man's fascination with fast cars and big trucks. How we enjoy the idea of controlling a couple thousand pounds of steel and plastic hurdling down the road at speeds we cannot attain on our own. Or our tendency to take our big trucks down trails and into mud holes where we get stuck or fear we will get stuck!

Most likely the author of such a book would include the Dude like tendency to tinker with stuff trying to make it work better (usually better is defined as faster or completely outside the realm of its intended purpose). After all this is why we never have remote control toys long and why our cars sound like Harleys.

And no book on guys would be complete without a chapter on our favorite topic: women. Why we want them, why we want to protect them, why we want to treat them like royalty (sometimes the latter is not associated with men however a MAN will want that. Its the BOYS that give us a bad rap). It would also talk about why some of us never seem to win any women over.

I hope this book would talk about our zeal for God. How a true man wants nothing more than to serve Him. And how God designed us to serve Him in unique ways. How we are supposed to be aggressive in our pursuit of His purpose. And how, like everything else, we want to think of ways to make His Kingdom grow bigger and grow faster!

God bless guys everywhere and God please keep us safe from our own delusions!

Woman Crush Wednesday: Proverbs 31:28-31

Wow! Today we finish up our WCW series on the Proverbs 31 woman! It has been such a pleasure to write about this and I have appreciated the support from everybody! I am not sure what will come next (you should definitely follow to see) but I seem to recall Titus 2 had some verses about Godly women....

Anyway, back to this week! This week we are covering verses 28-31:

Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates. Proverbs 31:28-31

These verses largely focus on the result of being a Proverbs 31 woman. Her children call her blessed and her husband praises her! It says "she shall be praised. Give her the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates"! She receives the praise she has earned! She is reaping the fruit of her labor! (hint hint guys: the Bible says she should be praised. Why not give a Proverbs 31 woman a compliment?)

These verses also sum up the entire passage nicely. "Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman who respects the Lord shall be praised." Physical beauty is not forever and will not make anybody happy. A man can marry the world's most beautiful woman, but if she is worldly and she does not act like a Godly woman she will drive him crazy! And favor can be faked. A woman can pretend to favor a person. BUT, a woman who respects, loves, desires, chases God! That is lasting, that will make a man happy!

A Godly woman will be successful. She will have God guiding her and helping her in all aspects of life. She will attain success by His strength. Also, if she truly is a disciple of God, she will treat her man right! She will do good by her household! She will work hard to help her family and the community! She is generous, loving, caring, hard-working, and amazing! I know "amazing' is a pretty broad term but is there any other way to describe the Proverbs 31 woman? Any woman who puts out the effort to be a Proverbs 31 woman should be praised! It is more than a Wednesday crush!

God bless!

What is Courting and Why Should I do it?

Last week I shared my love life with you all. The love life of a 21 year old who barely courts. I got a bunch of feedback from everybody and I really appreciate it! One thing that I was asked, and have been asked before, was whether courting was really necessary for adults. After all, we are adults, we should be able to control ourselves and make good choices, right?

This week I really want to look into this question and explain why courting is beneficial for any age! There are some misconceptions about courting that I would like the opportunity to clear up. There are several important reasons I, and many other people, believe courting is the best path toward marriage. Before we get into the reasons it is so valuable, however, lets look at what it actually is.

Courting is an alternative to dating as a means to get to know a potential spouse. Some people like to call courting "dating with purpose" because courting rejects the practice of bouncing from relationship to relationship like dating is sometimes defined by. It is not that simple however. Courting is a driven relationship that allows two people to get to know each other in a more true way while also providing an accountability filled environment to do so. In a courting relationship both parties understand that there is a good possibility the courtship will end in marriage. That is why the relationship was started. Courtship is also about getting to know your girlfriend/boyfriend in a more genuine way than one-on-one dates allow. Courtship is generally carried out with a chauffeur present to help the couple remain accountable. An example of a courtship "date" would be spending the day with one or the other's family or going to the mall with one or the other's siblings.

So, now that we have a general idea what courting is (by the way no two people court exactly alike, that was just a basis) lets talk about why we should court! There are a ton of reasons why courting is such a healthy way to get to know somebody you are interested in marrying!

Courting provides an accountable environment for the couple to grow in. This is one of the more touchy points about courting. I have been asked several times if it is really necessary for adults who can make their own choices. The answer is a resounding YES! We never outgrow the need for help! We never get so good that we can't fall! Temptation will attack and everybody knows that humans do not have the best track record when it comes to beating temptation! Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. Mathew 26:41. Jesus recognized how weak the flesh is! That is why He commanded us to watch and pray! The Bible also tells us that a wise person accepts wise council. The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. Proverbs 12:15. (Just a bonus one for you: The Bible says you have greater success if you take advice. If marriage is the end goal then success is definitely desirable, right? Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed. Proverbs 15:22.)

Courting provides  a way to really evaluate a potential mate. Dating tends to be about going on dates. You get together and the two of you go see a movie, or the two of you go eat, or the two of you go skating. Whatever you do it is usually just the two of you. Therefore, you get to see your potential mate when they are on there best behavior and are focused solely on you. You don't really get to see how they behave outside of the romantically charged atmosphere of the date. And, realistically speaking, who can't be good for a couple of hours to eat a meal, go skating, go for a walk, or watch a movie (OK, how do you get to know somebody at all by sitting in a movie theater for 2 hours without speaking?) Having that person around your family, your church family, and their own family, will allow you to better see how they are in real life!

Courting provides practice in stability. It also protects your heart. Nobody likes heart break, and most of us would agree that it would be nice to save our hearts solely for our mate. Courting can help ease heartbreak and help us save our hearts! Breakups will happen. Most of us will not marry the first person we court. And it will hurt. But courting eases the severity of the pain. In courting we protect our hearts because the relationship is driven towards marriage, so as soon as we see that marriage is not an option, we... (wait for it this may surprise some people) WE BREAK UP!! Do NOT continue a relationship you know is not going to lead to marriage! Another great part of this is that, since we only court people we truly believe we may want to marry, we are not bouncing from relationship to relationship! Alot of people date just for fun when they know there is no chance of marriage with their girlfriend/boyfriend. Dating is like practicing for divorce! You date this person and get bored and move on to the next person. Courting is not like that!

Courting also provides more opportunity for your family to give feedback on a potential spouse. You should really listen to your family's advice. They know you better than anyone! If they don't approve of a relationship you should really consider ending that relationship. Obviously, you are an adult and can make your own choices, but it is wise to listen to your family-especially your parents!

The above mentioned benefits of courtship are not the only benefits, but those are some of the major ones. Courtship lets you get to know your potential spouse better, lets you see what their spiritual life is like, lets you see how they are with family, and protects you from falling into sin and/or getting your heart broken. Obviously, it is not a perfect system. Things can still go wrong. That is why the MOST important part of any relationship is prayer! Pray to God to give you wisdom and protection! Pray that He will guide your relationship and tell you His plans!

This was my attempt at summarizing courtship and it's benefits. You can read Joshua Harris's books for more info or any of the books listed in the blog post that started all of this. I may even write my own book about it! God bless!

The Adventure Called Brotherhood!

This Christian guy happens to be a brother to 7 (yes that is SEVEN) siblings! Brotherhood cannot really be called anything other than an adventure! I have one brother and 6 (yes SIX) sisters! I am the oldest of our crew, which can be good and bad. Being the oldest I got to be the guinea pig of the family. I got to do some things my siblings didn't because after I did them my parents realized it wasn't such a good idea. My siblings got to do stuff I didn't because my parents realized it wasn't a big deal. I was a good guinea pig!

My situation is interesting because I have siblings close to my age, as well as some ALOT younger then me. My youngest sibling is 3ish months and my oldest sibling is 19 years old. We have been through alot together, good and bad. Being an older sibling has been a huge blessing to me! It has been one filled with lessons and adventures. Maybe it is because I am the oldest, or maybe it is just the way I am wired, but I have usually been the one to come up with the bad ideas. Usually my brother (occasionally my sister) has taken the beating for the REALLY bad ideas. For example, I was the one who decided we should attempt a world record for the most people sledding down a hill on one inner tube. He was the one who face-planted in the ice. (By the way, parents can see right through that "it's not as bad as it looks" line)

Us three older siblings grew up together. We shared alot of memories. Me and my brother have shared a room for years. We used to make up games with flashlights and stuffed animals when we were younger. When we got older we played Mario Kart until late at night (now that i am an old man I go to bed well before he does). The three of us used to play all sorts of games of our own imagining. I remember building cars out of tinker-toys, smashing them, and then bringing them to my sister "the mechanic" to fix (Ironically I am actually a mechanic now... but I still like to smash stuff). One particularly dumb game we used to play, involved a 2 liter soda bottle filled with water, mud, rocks, etc. being thrown into the air towards the other siblings who had to run to avoid it.

We fought like normal siblings but we were always close. We knew how to cheer each other up and how to annoy the stew out of each other! I remember "hanging" my sisters stuffed bears by the attic door pull cord. I also managed to rig up a plastic spider to swoop out of the medicine cabinet at my sister when she opened it (I am especially proud of that one). One tine after watching a movie about bogey men living under the bed, I hid under my brothers bed and grabbed his ankle when he sat on it before bed. They may have gotten me a couple times along the way. Maybe.

Now I am learning what it is like to have baby siblings. There is alot more hugs and kisses and high pitched voices. Pat-a-cake and this little piggy are alot more common. For some strange reason I walk around at work whistling nursery rhymes. There are bottles to be given, hair to be brushed, boo-boos to be kissed, and snuggles to be had. It is all a great part of the family adventure!

Having baby siblings is also preparing me to be a better Dad and husband one day. After all i know how to make bottles, change diapers, put cribs together, and a plethora of other baby things. I have developed an iron stomach. I have been spit on, bled on, spit up on, thrown up on (yes there is a difference), peed on, and pooped on. I got this.

Being an older brother also comes with the responsibility of being a good example. If I do it, it is likely somebody else will do it. Sometimes I have been a good role model, others... not so much. By God's Grace I am growing and learning everyday. I am trying to be what He calls me to be. Being an older sibling is an extra incentive to work at being a good example. The times I have influenced my siblings to grow in God have really been important to me. And the times I have been a bad example have taught me to be careful.

Overall being a sibling is great! I cannot imagine being without my brother and sisters! After all, without them who would I pull practical jokes on? And who would I use to pull off dangerous stunts? Who would I have to talk to when I am lonely? Thank You God for my family!

Woman Crush Wednesday: Proverbs 31:25-27

It is WCW again! Today is the day we crush on those admirable attributes of Godly women! But first I would like to thank you all for the feedback on Monday's post! It was really great to hear from all of you! Between the messages of encouragement and the stories from some of you telling me you feel the same way I was really blessed! Thank you so much! We will definitely be talking more about relationships as I can see it is just as important to you all as it is too me!

Back to Woman crush Wednesday. The past few WCW post have been talking about the woman described in Proverbs 31. Last time we discussed her work ethic. We didn't really talk about it but the verses we covered also spoke about how the Proverbs 31 woman is generous. This week we are crushing on the attributes discussed in verses 25-27:

Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 

-Proverbs 31:25-27

This passage is, in some ways, different than the previous ones we have covered. Instead of starting off with what the Proverbs 31 woman does with her actions, this passage starts with what she is in her being. Strength and honor are her clothing. The Proverbs 31 woman is strong and honorable! Only a Proverbs 31 woman has the strength and honor to actually practice being a Proverbs 31 woman! She is not easily broken. She faces hardships that would cripple a man (have you tried leaving a man home alone with kids?)

Honor and strength are complimentary features. A Proverbs 31 woman has the strength to act honorably when things get tough and she is honorable enough to strive to be strong. She also has the strength and honor to honor and submit to her husband. You may remember last weeks verse, "her husband is know in the gates" (Proverbs 31:23). She brings honor to her husband. It is ironic that our culture claims submitting to your husband is weak when God calls it strong!

The Proverbs 31 woman speaks wisdom and kindness. She opens her mouth in wisdom and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She thinks about what she says before she says it (we could all benefit from this one I think). She only speaks in kindness. She isn't using her voice to tear people down or hurt people. She understands the importance of her words and how they affect people.

Then to finish this passage off we get back to her roots as a homemaker. She looks well to the ways of her house and doesn't eat the bread of idleness. She uses the honor and strength she has to care for her house. She speaks with wisdom and kindness to everybody, including her family. The Proverbs 31 woman is, again, not lazy when it comes to the care of her home and its inhabitants.

So there you have it! This week we are crushing on strong, honorable, wisdom and kindness speaking women! It is always fun to write about the amazing character of a Proverbs 31 woman! Now I just need to find me one! If you enjoy the content I post, including WCW, then please subscribe! You can also connect with me on Facebook and Twitter!

God bless!

The Love Life of a 21 Year Old Who Rarely Courts

This week's post is deeply personal to me. I am going to share my love life with you. Specifically, I am going to share with you what it is like being a single 21 year old who doesn't date. Courting is not a popular practice anymore. Most people don't understand it. I probably won't go into alot of detail on what courting is in this post, however, if you would like to know more about it tell me in the comments and I will do a post on it later.

So like I said, I am 21 years old and single. I have only had one official courtship and it only lasted a month and a half (it doesn't take me long to know if it will work or not). At my age alot of my friends are in relationships, getting engaged, or getting married. It is hard to watch. Loneliness comes in many forms. I have my family but I have this constant sense of something missing.

Nobody understands this either. It's not that people don't try. They just don't get it. Having a wife and family is one of my biggest dreams in life. While other people want their career or their single life, I just want a great Biblical marriage and family. Career driven friends tell me to "be patient", and "your time will come", or "I'm older than you and I'm still single". When they say these things I smile and say the right things but inside I want to scream, "easy for you to say!" They already have or are working on their dream! Their career is their biggest goal.

People who date don't understand how hard it is to court. They don't get the loneliness. People who date generally have somebody they can talk sweet to, or buy flowers for, or hold hands with. I think I have 30 seconds of collective hand holding time and I haven't even had my first kiss! This may not be typical of all people who court, but I am very picky. Very few girls will make it to the courting phase (only one so far). Typically, I can decide if there is any potential based on one or two conversations. Therefore, I very rarely pursue a courtship! When you are a conservative Christian who wants to have a stay-at-home wife who will homeschool any kids the two of you may have, finding said wife is hard!

Last night I wrote a letter to my future wife. I figure that maybe putting it all down on paper will make it easier. If I remember I will give it to her one day. Another thing people don't generally understand is that I love my future wife. I am already in love with her. I don't even know that we have seen each other yet but I know I love her. Every crush I have ever had, every prospective mate, and the one courtship have all given me this taste for what love is. I know that none of those past experiences were true love so I can imagine how much greater and stronger true love will be!

I try to show my love for my wife every day. I know she doesn't see it know but I hope one day she will appreciate how much I have loved her. I have tried to show my love for her by not giving what belongs to her to somebody else. That is why I haven't had my first kiss. That is why I am still a virgin. It is the reason I don't date. I want to save as many experiences for her as possible. First kisses, first time having sex, first time falling in love, those are all huge life events. I have spent 21 years apart from my other half and experienced alot without her. I want those big life events to be moments we share together. A first kiss means alot more when it is shared with a life partner. Falling in love is a huge experience that doesn't happen often. Having sex for the first time should be an amazing, intimate, emotional moment. Having sex at all should be! I truly only want to experience that with one person!

This post is my best attempt at explaining what single life is like for a 21 year old who courts. Or maybe I should say for a 21 year old who rarely courts. It isn't perfect but maybe it gives you an idea. It was definitely therapeutic for me to write about it. If you would like to know more about courting I highly reccomend Joshua Harris's books, I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship. Both are excellent books. Also When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy is a great book on the topic.

For now, though, I will keep waiting. I can't promise I will have a patient heart, or that I will be perfect, but I will be doing my best by God's Grace. I will be doing my best to trust in Him and remember that He has a plan. God bless everyone!